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Letter to manager for training course

Letter to manager for training course Gnjo
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to discuss about a training course on IOT Security that I have recently discovered online. It seems to be an excellent course and I am willing to enrol in to it. It's a month long course followed by a certification exam. The course will cover all aspects of securing IOT devices which includes device security testing, secure code development and last but not the least malware testing for IOT devices. As you might be aware of the fact that IOT is the future and our company has recently started developing IOT features, I believe that this will be a great add-on as we have not started focusing on IOT security yet. This course also offers group study material which will be eventually helpful for our team. I hope that I will be able to use personal growth credits offered by our organisation to pay for this course. I have raised a request for the same in employee portal and would really appreciate if you can approve the same. Thank you for your consideration. Yours sincerely, Ranjan
Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to
Did you mean simply "discuss a"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about a
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
on IOT Security that I have recently discovered online.

It seems to be an excellent
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
course and
I am willing to enrol in to it.

It's a month long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
followed by a certification exam. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
will cover all aspects of securing IOT devices which includes device security testing, secure code development and last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least malware testing for IOT devices.

As you might be aware of the fact that IOT is the future and our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
developing IOT features, I believe that this will be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
-on as we have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
focusing on IOT security
yet
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
also
offers group study material which will be
eventually
helpful for our team.

I hope that I will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
personal growth credits offered by our
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to pay for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. I have raised a request for the same in employee portal and would
really
appreciate if you can approve the same.

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Ranjan

IELTS letter Letter to manager for training course

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
182 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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