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Letter to enquire about cassette in shop

Letter to enquire about cassette in shop ExpD
Dear sir, I would like to enquire about the availability of audio cassettes of Lata Mangeshker songs. Myself Susan Maria, resident of Banjara Hills, road no. 12, Hyderabad. I am one of your new customer as well as I am neighbour of your newly opened branch of T. Series shop at BanjaraHills road no. 12. Last Monday I was happy to visit your shop opening ceremoney, I found lot of interesting cassettes, C. Ds and books collection in your shop. Due to short of time I could not enquire much about what I was looking for from your shop. Also, due to COVID-19 restrictions unfortunately I cannot visit your shop again personally, therefore I am writing this letter to enquire about the availability of old audio cassettes of Lata Mangeshker songs of 1980 which were super hit of those golden days. Also inform me if you have online payment facility and home delievery facility, and let me know about the price of the cassettes so that I can pay online and get the cassettes soons. For further details or any queries you may call me or letter me at the given phone number or address. Looking forward for your response at the earliest. Thank you. Susan Maria12345678
Dear sir,

I would like to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about the availability of audio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cassettes
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lata
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mangeshker
songs.

Myself Susan Maria, resident of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Banjara
Hills, road no. 12, Hyderabad. I am one of your new customer
as well
as I am
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
of your
newly
opened branch of T. Series
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
BanjaraHills
road no. 12.

Last Monday I was happy to visit your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
opening
Possible spelling mistake found.
ceremoney
, I found
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cassettes
, C.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ds
and books collection in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. Due to short of time I could not
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
much about what I was looking for from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
.
Also
, due to COVID-19 restrictions unfortunately I cannot visit your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
again
personally
,
therefore
I am writing this letter to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about the availability of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
audio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cassettes
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lata
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mangeshker
songs of 1980 which were super hit of those golden days.

Also
inform me if you have online payment facility and home
Possible spelling mistake found.
delievery
facility, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know about the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cassettes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can pay online and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cassettes
Possible spelling mistake found.
soons
. For
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
or any queries you may call me or letter me at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
phone number or address.

Looking forward for your response at the earliest. Thank you.

Susan Maria12345678
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IELTS letter Letter to enquire about cassette in shop

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
206 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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