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Letter inquiring about studying English in an overseas institute

Letter inquiring about studying English in an overseas institute NVoqb

Dear madam/sir, I am Ganga Raj, a high school graduate from Gems Our Own Indian School, Dubai. I have applied to studying English in your reputed institution for Autumn semester. I would like to know more about the area where the institute is situated in. I also want to know the information regarding my accommodation while I'm studying in Wollongong. I want hostel stay with a separate room for myself. I'd like to opt for Vegan food as I follow a strict Vegan diet due to my health conditions. Hoping to hear from you soon. Ganga Raj

Dear madam/sir, I am Possible spelling mistake found.GangGangsGanjaGagaMangaGang a
Ganga
 Raj, a high school graduate from Gems Our This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
Own
 Indian School, Dubai. I have applied to studying English in your reputed institution for Autumn semester.

I would like to know more about the area where the institute is situated
 in. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
also
 want to know the information regarding my accommodation while I'm studying in Wollongong. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
 want hostel stay with a separate room for myself. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
'd like to opt for Vegan food as I follow a strict Vegan diet due to my health conditions.

Hoping to hear from you This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:in the near future
soon
. Possible spelling mistake found.GangGangsGanjaGagaMangaGang a
Ganga
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphRaj.Raj!Raj?Raj:Raj,Raj;
Raj

IELTS letter Letter inquiring about studying English in an overseas institute

Letter

American English

3 paragraphs

96 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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