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Letter inquiring about studying English in an overseas institute

Letter inquiring about studying English in an overseas institute NVoqb
Dear madam/sir, I am Ganga Raj, a high school graduate from Gems Our Own Indian School, Dubai. I have applied to studying English in your reputed institution for Autumn semester. I would like to know more about the area where the institute is situated in. I also want to know the information regarding my accommodation while I'm studying in Wollongong. I want hostel stay with a separate room for myself. I'd like to opt for Vegan food as I follow a strict Vegan diet due to my health conditions. Hoping to hear from you soon. Ganga Raj
Dear madam/sir, I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ganga
Raj, a high school graduate from Gems Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Own
Indian School, Dubai. I have applied to studying English in your reputed institution for Autumn semester.

I would like to know more about the area where the institute
is situated
in.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
also
want to know the information regarding my accommodation while I'm studying in Wollongong.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
want hostel stay with a separate room for myself.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
'd like to opt for Vegan food as I follow a strict Vegan diet due to my health conditions.

Hoping to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ganga
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Raj
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IELTS letter Letter inquiring about studying English in an overseas institute

Letter
  American English
3 paragraphs
96 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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