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Job application letter to the position of manager

Job application letter to the position of manager m3Wn8
Dear Sir / Madam I am writing to you to express my interest in your job advertisement for a manager that I saw posted on Facebook on your oficial profile. I have extensive experience in this area, and now I am looking for part-time job. I graduated from the University in 2012 with a degree in financial management and now I am taking advanced training in restaurant business at a local college. At present, I am employed as a manager in a branch of the restaurant Friday's. I have always been very interested in the restaurant business and I am always looking for opportunities for my development in this area. That is why at the moment it is important for me to be able to combine study and work and apply new knowledge in practice. During my work in Friday's, our branch for 3 years showed the highest rates of profitability and occupancy by visitors even not in the peak days and hours. What I consider to be my merit, including as a successful leader of all processes of the restaurant. I will be glad to join your team and contribute to the development of your business. I am available for work Monday to Wednesday from 7 am to 2 pm and Thursday to Saturday from 3 pm to 10 pm. I look forward to meeting you to discuss the possibility of employment. Yours faithfully Alexandra Butlitsky
Dear Sir / Madam

I am writing to you to express my interest in your job advertisement for a manager that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
posted on Facebook on your
Possible spelling mistake found.
oficial
profile.

I have extensive experience in this area, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am looking for part-time job.

I graduated from the University in 2012 with a degree in financial management and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am taking advanced training in restaurant business at a local college. At present, I
am employed
as a manager in a branch of the restaurant Friday's.

I have always been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested in the restaurant
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
business and
I am always looking for opportunities for my development in this area.
That is
why at the moment it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for me to be able to combine study and work and apply new knowledge in practice.

During my work in Friday's, our branch for 3 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the highest rates of profitability and occupancy by visitors even not in the peak days and hours. What I consider to be my merit, including as a successful leader of all processes of the restaurant.

I will be glad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
your team and contribute to the development of your business. I am available for work Monday to Wednesday from 7 am to 2 pm and Thursday to Saturday from 3 pm to 10 pm.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
look forward to meeting you to discuss the possibility of employment.

Yours
faithfully


Alexandra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Butlitsky
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IELTS letter Job application letter to the position of manager

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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