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Invite friend, describe the occasion, importance and other plans

Invite friend, describe the occasion, importance and other plans 3gJqn
Hi Vedica, Hope this email finds you well and healthy. I want to invite you to visit our home town for 9 - day festival next month. Our upcoming festival, widely known as Ganesh Chaturthi, is an occasion to worship Elephant God for their blessings. It will be my pleasure to have you spend time with us. This is one of the festive where you would see a competition for largest idol and most decorated. Every neighbourhood will be decorated with different themes each day; fun activities and cultural are a part of celebration. The most auspicious day is the last day, when all idols will be immersed in ocean and a huge gathering will be seen at beach. Other than these, I have made a bucket list of places for us to visit such as we will fly to Ooty, a hill station and Kerela – famously known as God’s own place. I really look forward to your visit and it’s time to re-kindle our childhood memories. Take care and write back soon Suji
Hi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vedica
,

Hope this email finds you well and healthy. I want to invite you to visit our home town for 9
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
day festival
next
month.

Our upcoming festival,
widely
known as Ganesh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chaturthi
, is an occasion to worship Elephant God for their blessings. It will be my pleasure to have you spend time with us.

This is one of the festive where you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a competition for largest idol and most decorated. Every
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
will
be decorated
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
themes each day; fun activities and cultural are a part of celebration. The most auspicious day is the last day, when all idols will
be immersed
in ocean and a huge gathering will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at beach.

Other than these, I have made a bucket list of places for us to visit such as we will
fly
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ooty
, a hill station and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kerela
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
famously
known as God’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place. I
really
look forward to your visit and it’s time to re-kindle our childhood memories.

Take care and write back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon


Possible spelling mistake found.
Suji

IELTS letter Invite friend, describe the occasion, importance and other plans

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
174 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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