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INTRODUCING ABOUT YOURSELF

INTRODUCING ABOUT YOURSELF yxeml
Hi, guys! I’m Daisy. Nice to meet you, guys! I come from Vietnam, and I’m 13 years old. My birthday is on 25th October. I was born in Ho Chi Minh City but I am living in Chon Thanh Town. There are 3 members in my family: my mom, my dad, and me. My mom is a principal in Minh Thanh preschool which I studied. My dad is a police officer, he works in The police station. When I was young, I often went to my dad’s office and played with my dad’s colleague's children. I’m a class 9’s student at Luong The Vinh primary and secondary school. My favorite subject is English and Art. My hobbies are reading novels, watching movies, studying languages, and drawing. Kinds of types of novels and movies which I often read and watch are romantic and detective. I find them very exciting. I often get caught up in the sweet scenes of romantic love stories or difficult cases. Studying a new language makes me feel happier. Besides that, you also know much more culture about the country which I am studying the language. Moreover, Moreover, I can provide knowledge for myself by reading foreign documents. I think I am a skillful person. Because I have been good at Art and Craft since I was a child. And that is the reason why I like drawing so much. My favorite sport is volleyball. Both my dad and my mom play volleyball very well. My mom taught me to play volleyball when I was 7 years olds. I like traveling around the world, but until now I have just gone to some cities in Viet Nam. Highland coffee's lotus seed tea is my favorite drink. Almost all members of my family like it and I think you should try to drink it. The singer liking it best is Taylor Swift. She is so pretty and her voice is very well, I love it. Also, I like some other actors and singers such as 王一博( Wang Yibo ), 范丞丞( Fan Cheng Cheng ), 赵露思( Zhao Lu Si), Esther Yu, so on. What would you do in the future? As for me, I wish I would be a designer or painter. But it’s hard for me. Because if I want to be an artist or designer, I must be good at math and physics. And I can only study normally but I'm not good at them. In addition, I also want to become an English teacher, this is my second choice if I can't become an artist or designer. Thank you for listening my introduction!
Hi, guys! I’m Daisy. Nice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you, guys!

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from Vietnam, and I’m 13 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. My birthday is on 25th October. I
was born
in Ho Chi Minh City
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am living in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chon
Thanh Town.

There are 3 members in my family: my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
, and me. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
is a principal in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Minh
Thanh preschool which I studied. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
is a police officer, he works in The police station. When I was young, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
went to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad’s
office and played with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad’s
colleague's children.

I’m a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
9’s student at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Luong
The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinh
primary and secondary school. My favorite subject is English and Art. My hobbies are reading novels, watching movies, studying languages, and drawing. Kinds of types of novels and movies which I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
read and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
are romantic and detective. I find them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exciting. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught up in the sweet scenes of romantic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
stories or difficult cases. Studying a new language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me feel happier.
Besides
that, you
also
know much more culture about the country which I am studying the language.
Moreover
,
Moreover
, I can provide knowledge for myself by reading foreign documents. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I am a skillful person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at Art and Craft since I was a child. And
that is
the reason why I like drawing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much. My favorite sport is volleyball. Both my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
play volleyball
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
taught me to play volleyball when I was 7 years olds. I like traveling around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
gone to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam. Highland coffee's lotus seed tea is my favorite drink. Almost all members of my family like it and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you should try to drink it. The singer liking it best is Taylor Swift. She is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
pretty and her voice is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
it.
Also
, I like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other actors and singers such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
王一博
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Wang
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yibo
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
范丞丞
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Fan
Possible typo: you repeated a word
Cheng Cheng
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
赵露思
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Zhao Lu Si), Esther
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yu
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

What would you do in the future? As for me, I wish I would be a designer or painter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if I want to be an artist or designer, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at math and physics. And I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
study
normally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I'm not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at them.
In addition
, I
also
want to become an English teacher, this is my second choice if I can't become an artist or designer.

Thank you for listening my introduction!
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IELTS letter INTRODUCING ABOUT YOURSELF

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
437 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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