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informal letter to a friend to give him advice

informal letter to a friend to give him advice m3G3n
Dear Adam, Thank you for contacting me, I hope you're doing well. I'm so excited to offer you some pieces of advice. If I were you I wouldn't go to college, I think you'll just waste your time there since you'll never get an experience. on top of that, you'll be asked to pay back your students loans after graduation. It's a bad idea to have debts especially while studying. My opinion is to search for a job instead of being under pressure in college. Plus, you'll be able to save some extra money beside gaining more experience so then you can start your own business. I'd recommend for you to get a job in GT company I've heard they are hearing web developers without a degree or you can just work as an adminstrative assistance in CA  since your father is good with management which means he can help. Let me know what you think about it. Take care,
Dear Adam,

Thank you for contacting me, I hope you're doing well. I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited to offer you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pieces of advice.

If I were you I wouldn't go to college, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
you'll
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
waste your time there since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
you'll
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an experience.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
top of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
you'll
be asked
to pay back your students loans after graduation. It's a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to have debts
especially
while studying.

My opinion is to search for a job
instead
of being under pressure in college. Plus,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
you'll
be able to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra money beside gaining more experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
then you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.

I'd recommend for you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in GT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
I've heard they
The verb 'hearing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are hearing
web developers without a degree or you can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
work as an
Possible spelling mistake found.
adminstrative
assistance in CA
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
since your father is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
with management which means he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me know what you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about it.

Take care,

IELTS letter informal letter to a friend to give him advice

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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