Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In order to deter people from beginning smoking, governments should ban smoking in all public areas including outdoor areas. Discuss.

In order to deter people from beginning smoking, governments should ban smoking in all public areas including outdoor areas. Discuss. XEBJw
Dear Sir/Madame, I am writing this letter to request the officials regarding 'Prohibit Smoking in all public places including outdoor areas'. I am a working employee who will use public transport to and fro via Train. At Train station I am seeing lot of high school students started learning smoking and some groups are even taking ownership to teach them the ways how to kick start the smoking habit. Since it is public transport different age groups are utilizing. Smoking in Public areas is like a slow- poison since the effect of intaking contaminated air will not shown immediately, but everyone will face consequences. Worst part among all is nearly 5% of the customers who are utilizing the service are Expected Women. So it is not only impacting Mother but our Future generation too. Could you kindly take some action on this issue as soon as possible. Yours Faithfully, Jaya
Dear Sir/Madame,

I am writing this letter to request the officials regarding 'Prohibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places including outdoor areas'.

I am a working employee who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport to and fro via Train. At Train station I am seeing
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
high school students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
learning
If 'learning' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to smoke".
smoking
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups are even taking ownership to teach them the ways how to kick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
habit.

“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups are utilizing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
areas is like a slow- poison since the effect of
Possible spelling mistake found.
intaking
contaminated air will not shown immediately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everyone will face consequences.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Worst".
Worst
part among all is
nearly
5% of the customers who are utilizing the service are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Expected
Women.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
impacting Mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
our Future generation too.

Could you kindly take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
action on this issue as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Yours
Faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Jaya

IELTS letter In order to deter people from beginning smoking, governments should ban smoking in all public areas including outdoor areas. Discuss.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • In order to deter people from beginning smoking, governments should ban smoking in all public areas including outdoor areas. Discuss.