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How high school students are like?

How high school students are like? 7W1Bn
HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS Every country has a lot of high school students that they play an important role in future of that country. Fortunately most of the students when enter in high school they become aware of their behaviour, their personality and manner of their speaking so, they are becoming mature and polite. High school students think about finding their social status, hence they study harder and more carefully than past. High school students study more purposefully. They have to spend a lot of time to study because they should be accepted in entrance exam to get a good job with high salary. For example in Iran employers pay a lot of attention to qualifications of their employees because they believed that any one who has a degree from a well known university is a capable and intelligent person so, she/he can be successful in her/his job. In the other word the future career of high school students depends on their degree. So, they should study very determinedly. High school students are wiser than other low level students. The reason maybe is that they know that they now have special place in society and the family, in addition, they know their values and goals, so they will strive to achieve them. Another reason for high school students to become wiser is that at this age, teenagers are advised and try to make the right decision and behave in the right way. For example a 17 year old no longer has the rebelliousness and excitement of a few years ago and is seriously thinking about his /her future career and social status. In conclusion, high school students are at the best of their lives because they make important decisions in their lives as they they become more aware therefore, studying is very important for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HIGH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCHOOL
STUDENTS

Every country has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that they play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in future of that country.

Fortunately
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when enter in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they become aware of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, their personality and manner of their speaking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they are becoming mature and polite.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about finding their social status,
hence
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
harder and more
carefully
than past.

High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
more
purposefully
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in entrance exam to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary.
For example
in Iran employers pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
attention to qualifications of their employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believed that
Did you mean "anyone"?
any one
who has a degree from a well known university is a capable and intelligent person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, she/he can be successful in her/his job. In the other word the future career of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
depends on their degree.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
determinedly
.

High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are wiser than other low level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The reason maybe is that they know that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have special place in society and the family,
in addition
, they know their values and goals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will strive to achieve them. Another reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become wiser is that at this age,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are advised
and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right decision and behave in the right way.
For example
a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "17-year"
17 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
no longer has the rebelliousness and excitement of a few years ago and is
seriously
thinking about his /her future career and social status.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are at the best of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as
Possible typo: you repeated a word
they they
become more aware
therefore
, studying is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them.
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IELTS letter How high school students are like?

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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