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Heart and mind - the forever rivals

Heart and mind - the forever rivals kgNg2
Hey guys, let us see one of the sensitive topics of the society. Nowadays most of us are hearing news of some famous personals, who are famous in their respective fields, getting divorced mutually. We always keen to learn and study their success stories like how they worked hard and how they build their path in a successful way. But, do we really focussing on their dark phase. Having someone as an inspiration and learning from them doesn't only mean to adapt their success mantras but also understanding the dark situations faced by them is equally important. Let us dive into the reasons behind them. HEART, in non-biological sense, is a combination of emotions and feelings. It reflects one's emotions and feelings towards others. It is the mirror of someone's inner angle to the society. A person's inner nature can be decided by his heart. It always thinks in an usual manner like most of the people do. It is in regular search of its companion who has common emotions just like it has. On contrary, MIND is an association of planning and logical thinking. It focuses on the happenings and consequences of an issue round the clock. A person's external character is decided by his mind. It's only motive is the betterment and development of one's personal life alongside of society. Heart always searches for good emotions while mind tries to find the logical reasons behind them. They both are like sun and moon. Both are necessary for the mankind. We can't bear severe hotness due to sun and extreme coldness due to moon. It will be one of the most pleasant situations we ever experience if they occur in equal and balanced mode. However it is rare and occurs once in 30 years which is known as Selenilion. In the same way, whenever both heart and mind combines, it will be a great and happy life that one can lead and it happens in an extreme and rare condition. Who thought, one day Bill Gates and Melinda will separate from each other. They have enough prosperity and respect all over the world either personally or professionally. But, this Mind-Heart relationship can do anything. It destroyed their 27 years long togetherness. He even said that the decision taken by them was a sad milestone in his life. This is the most happening situation in current society. Even if someone wants a bond forever and the Mind-Heart bond is not integrated among them properly, that relation will break someday or other. You have to realize and accept the situation and be ready to face the consequences with a lot of courage and a smile on your face. Some day, everything will settle down and harmony will be developed around you.
Hey guys,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
one of the sensitive topics of the society. Nowadays most of us
The verb 'hearing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are hearing
news of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personals, who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in their respective fields, getting divorced
mutually
. We always keen to learn and study their success stories like how they worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and how they build their path
Consider replacing "in a successful way" with the adverb for "successful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a successful way
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, do we
really
focussing on their dark phase. Having someone as an inspiration and learning from them doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mean to adapt their success mantras
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
understanding the dark
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
faced by them is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us dive into the reasons behind them.

HEART, in non-biological sense, is a combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
and feelings. It reflects one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
and feelings towards others. It is the mirror of someone's inner angle to the society. A person's inner nature can
be decided
by his heart. It always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
Consider replacing "in an usual manner" with the adverb for "usual"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an usual manner
like most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do. It is in regular search of its companion who has common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like it has.

On contrary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MIND
is an association of planning and logical thinking. It focuses on the happenings and consequences of an issue round the clock. A person's external character
is decided
by his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
motive is the betterment and development of one's personal life alongside of society.

Heart always searches for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
tries to find the logical reasons behind them. They both are like sun and moon. Both are necessary for the mankind. We can't bear severe hotness due to sun and extreme coldness due to moon. It will be one of the most pleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
we ever experience if they occur in equal and balanced mode.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it is rare and occurs once in 30 years which
is known
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Selenilion
.
In the same way
, whenever both heart and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
combines, it will be a great and happy life that one can lead and it happens in an extreme and rare condition.

Who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, one day Bill Gates and Melinda will separate from each other. They have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
prosperity and respect all over the world either
personally
or
professionally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this Mind-Heart relationship can do anything. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
their 27 years long togetherness. He even said that the decision taken by them was a sad milestone in his life. This is the most happening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society. Even if someone wants a bond forever and the Mind-Heart bond is not integrated among them
properly
, that relation will break someday or other.

You
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
realize and accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and be ready to face the
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "with". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
courage and a smile on your face.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
day, everything will settle down and harmony will
be developed
around you.
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IELTS letter Heart and mind - the forever rivals

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
460 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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