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During a recent plane journey, you sat next to businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. you talked to him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Remind him when and where you met. Tell him what kind of job you are interested in Say why you think you would be suitable for the job.

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. you talked to him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Remind him when and where you met. Tell him what kind of job you are interested in Say why you think you would be suitable for the job. ljXB1
Hello Sir, I am writing this letter to you, to discuss the career opportunity in one of your restaurants. I met you at the Dubia airport when we were waiting for our flight for Vancouver. As per our Discussion, you mentioned that you own number of restaurants in Vancouver, and I can apply job as you are opening few new restaurants. I have checked that one of restaurant in Vancouver is hiring for Full-time chef. I am really interested in that opportunity as I have 10 years of experience in this profession, and I have worked with many renowned hotels. Moreover, I believe that I will be great match for this job as I have the same skills and abilities that your restaurant needs to run effectively and efficiently. This will also be a learning opportunity for me build my strong career and work with strong business. Regards, Shailja Sharma
Hello Sir,

I am writing this letter to you, to discuss the career opportunity in one of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
. I met you at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dubia
airport when we were waiting for our flight for Vancouver. As per our Discussion, you mentioned that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
in Vancouver, and I can apply job as you are opening few new restaurants.

I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
that one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
in Vancouver is hiring for Full-time chef. I am
really
interested in that opportunity as I have 10 years of experience in this profession, and I have worked with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
renowned hotels.

Moreover
, I believe that I will be great match for this job as I have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
needs to run
effectively
and
efficiently
. This will
also
be a learning opportunity for me build my strong career and work with strong business.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Shailja
Sharma

IELTS letter During a recent plane journey, you sat next to businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. you talked to him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Remind him when and where you met. Tell him what kind of job you are interested in Say why you think you would be suitable for the job.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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