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During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants.

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. m167d
Dear sir, I am writing this letter to remind you of our meeting on a flight that you were boarding from Delhi to Mumbai. I was sitting next to you. while exchanging thoughts on a general topic, you mentioned that you were looking for a senior manager for the management of your chain of restaurants. I would like to supply my services for this post. I have completed my master's in business administration from Panjab university in the year 2010. After that, I joined a local company as an assistant manager. After gaining experience of 3 years I applied for the post of manager in a prestigious 5-star hotel in our town and I worked there for almost 7 years. Now, I find myself appropriate for the post of a senior manager in your restaurant therefore I am attaching my curriculum vitae with this letter. Moreover, I am an exceptional speaker and event manager. I organized and managed many national and international conferences in my previous workplace. I can handle any difficult situation because of my calm and positive attitude. I have mastered the skills of managing people. Therefore, I think I will stand out at your set standards. I would be grateful to you if you consider me for this post. I look forward to hearing you soon. yours sincerely, XYZ
Dear sir, I am writing this letter to remind you of our meeting on a flight that you were boarding from Delhi to Mumbai. I was sitting
next
to you.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
exchanging thoughts on a general topic, you mentioned that you were looking for a senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
for the management of your chain of restaurants. I would like to supply my services for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
. I have completed my master's in business administration from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Panjab
university in the year 2010. After that, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
a local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as an assistant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
. After gaining experience of 3 years I applied for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
in a prestigious 5-star hotel in our town and I worked there for almost 7 years.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I find myself appropriate for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
of a senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
in your restaurant
therefore
I am attaching my curriculum vitae with this letter.
Moreover
, I am an exceptional speaker and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
. I organized and managed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
national and international conferences in my previous workplace. I can handle any difficult situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my calm and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have mastered the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of managing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I will stand out at your set standards. I would be grateful to you if you consider me for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
. I look forward to hearing you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
yours
sincerely
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
XYZ
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IELTS letter During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
221 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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