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Describe a place and a friend of you

Describe a place and a friend of you 7Pep6
Hello, my name is Ngoc Y. Today, I will describe a place and a friend of you would like to visit. My best friend’s name is Hanh. My best friend lives in Nha Trang city. She lives near my house. We have been together for more than 7 years. Friends are very important in my life, but I usually see friends on special occasions. One day I will go to Korea with her because we are fans of Korean culture. If I visit Korea, I want to go to Jeju Island to see the beautiful beaches and non-stop lava mountains. It would be great if I could see my K-Pop idols in person or at least visit their agency. Jagalchi Market in Busan is very nice, I hope to go there and try the delicious seafood. Like other tourists, I also wanted to test out their system recovery outfit – the Hanbok and take lots of photos. Korea is a great place and I want to travel there in the future. Thank you everyone for listening.
Hello, my name is
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Ngoc
Y.
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Today
, I will
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describe
a place and a
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friend
of you would like to visit. My best
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friend’s
name is
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Hanh
. My best
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friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
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Nha
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Trang
city. She
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lives
near my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. We have been together for more than 7 years.
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Friends
are
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very
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important
in my life,
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but
I
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
on special occasions. One day I will go to Korea with her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are fans of Korean culture. If I visit Korea, I want to go to
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Jeju
Island to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
beaches and non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
lava mountains. It would be great if I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my K-Pop idols in person or at least visit their agency.
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Jagalchi
Market in
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Busan
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nice, I hope to go there and try the delicious seafood. Like other tourists, I
also
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
out their system recovery outfit
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the
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Hanbok
and take lots of photos. Korea is a great place and I want to travel there in the future. Thank you everyone for listening.
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IELTS letter Describe a place and a friend of you

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
176 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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