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Dear Sir, My name is Jyoti Gupta and I am working as a supervisor in the sales department.

Dear Sir, My name is Jyoti Gupta and I am working as a supervisor in the sales department. glEA
Dear Sir, My name is Jyoti Gupta and I am working as a supervisor in the sales department. I am writing to bring to your notice the requirement of a cafeteria within our office building. It’s been two years since I joined this organization and I really admire the work culture here. However, I have always felt that it would be better if we had a place where employees can have tea or meals. After consulting the views of my colleagues and some employees from other departments, I came to know that everyone in the office would like to have this facility in our work area. Furthermore, it will be very beneficial for the individuals who are commuting from far-off places. They would be refreshed and can concentrate more on work after having a relaxing cup of tea. The cafeteria can be built in the backyard of our premises which is a wasteland now. It would be highly appreciable if you look into this matter. Yours sincerely, Jyoti Gupta
Dear Sir,

My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jyoti
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Gupta and
I am working as a supervisor in the sales department. I am writing to bring to your notice the requirement of a cafeteria within our office building.

It’s been two years since I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
this organization and I
really
admire the work culture here.
However
, I have always felt that it would be better if we had a place where employees can have tea or meals. After consulting the views of my colleagues and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employees from other departments, I came to know that everyone in the office would like to have this facility in our work area.

Furthermore
, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for the individuals who are commuting from far-off places. They would
be refreshed
and can concentrate more on work after having a relaxing cup of tea. The cafeteria can
be built
in the backyard of our premises which is a wasteland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

It would be
highly
appreciable if you look into this matter.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Jyoti
Gupta
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IELTS letter Dear Sir, My name is Jyoti Gupta and I am working as a supervisor in the sales department.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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