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advice for a friend about a visit to a lake

advice for a friend about a visit to a lake K3Qg9
Dear john, I hope you and the family are all doing very well. Let me be honest, I was very excited to get this letter asking me for my advice. As you are a wildlife lover, I’m pretty sure you will be having a good time by camping at Lake Louise as it has lot of amazing sceneries to watch and magnificent cliffs to climb. As you know, I have been there last summer and I’m aware of its details. Firstly, the network is too bad as it’s an isolated place. Beside that, the weather might be freezing at night, particularly on the top of the mountain. You have triggered something inside me as I really miss the lake and the amazing activities that I have done as I was camping last time. So, can I join you and your team? It would be always great to comeback to camp in Lake Louise. I can’t wait to hear from you All the best, Adam
Dear john,

I hope you and the family are all doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me be honest, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this letter asking me for my advice. As you are a wildlife lover, I’m pretty sure you will be having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time by camping at Lake Louise as it has
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
amazing sceneries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and magnificent cliffs to climb.

As you know, I have been there last summer and I’m aware of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
Firstly
, the network is too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
as it’s an isolated place. Beside that, the weather might be freezing at night,
particularly
on the top of the mountain.

You have triggered something inside me as I
really
miss the lake and the amazing activities that I have done as I was camping last time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, can I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
you and your team? It would be always great
Did you mean "to come back"?
to comeback
to camp in Lake Louise.

I can’t wait to hear from you

All the best,

Adam
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IELTS letter advice for a friend about a visit to a lake

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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