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complaint about the dissatisfactory of facility

complaint about the dissatisfactory of facility jDm8M
Dear sir, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the lack of space and insecurity in changing rooms. Ever since I joined the sport centre, I have realized that the changing room is not big enough for twenty trainees to do changing their cloths and get prepared for the training at the same time. This is why every time I have to wait several minutes for others to get ready and leave the changing room which is shortens my training session. I hereby suggest to add the area where is located next to the changing room, then there will be an enermous space to do clothing and stuff. In addition, lately all the padlocks are renewed and the new ones could not be properly locked. It seems that the keys to the new padlocks have to be lubed and stoned. The supervisor is already informed about above-mentioned issues, however no action is taken until now. Your prompt reply on this matter will be very much appreciated. Kind regards, Babak Alizadeh
Dear sir,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the lack of space and insecurity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
rooms.

Ever since I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the sport
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, I have realized that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
room is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for twenty trainees to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
their cloths and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
prepared for the training at the same time. This is why every time I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait several minutes for others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
room which is shortens my training session. I hereby suggest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
the area where
is located
next
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
room, then there will be an
Possible spelling mistake found.
enermous
space to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go clothing".
do clothing
and stuff.

In addition
, lately all the padlocks
are renewed
and the new ones could not be
properly
locked. It seems that the keys to the new padlocks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be lubed
and stoned.

The supervisor is already informed about above-mentioned issues,
however
no action
is taken
until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Your prompt reply on this matter will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much appreciated.

Kind regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Babak
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alizadeh
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IELTS letter complaint about the dissatisfactory of facility

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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