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Complain about the problem you just bought mobile phone

Complain about the problem you just bought mobile phone 86pdG
Dear MadamI am writing to complain about mobile phone which I recently bought from your shop. After only there days. things started to go wrong. On the second of Octeober I visited one of your locol shops in order to buy a mobile phone for my grandmother. Looking around the shop I encountered expected item and I asked a shop assistant about it. After getting all information I decided to purchase it. Three days later, my grandmother made a call and said about the problems of the item. When she used the phone for the first time it worked properly. But later when she made a call to her neighbor the phone did not work. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon as soon as possible and receiving a new phone. Please give this matter your immediate attention. Yours faithfullyAnorboyeva Diyora
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
MadamI
Did you mean "am I"?
am
writing to complain about mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
which I recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. After
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "their"?
there
days.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. On the second of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Octeober
I visited one of your
Possible spelling mistake found.
locol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for my grandmother. Looking around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
I encountered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
item and I asked a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
assistant about it.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
getting all information I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it. Three days later, my grandmother made a call and said about the problems of the item. When she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for the
first
time it worked
properly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
later when she made a call to her neighbor the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
did not work. I am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible and receiving a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
give this matter your immediate attention. Yours
Possible spelling mistake found.
faithfullyAnorboyeva
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Diyora
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IELTS letter Complain about the problem you just bought mobile phone

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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