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Cafeteria at the lunchtime

Cafeteria at the lunchtime Q2rPP

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to bring your attention some problems I faced during the lunchtime at your cafeteria, and to suggest some enhancements that would improve the service. My name is Amr and I am an Engineering student at University of Sharjah. Although many of my colleagues get their drinks from the coffee shops outside the university, I have always been a loyal customer to my college cafeteria due to its good quality coffee and fresh meals that served at reasonable prices. On this occasion, however, in the past few weeks I noticed a drawback in the level of service, that was obvious in the cleanness of the tables and the time to serve that sometimes exceeded 45 minutes leaving me only 15 minutes to eat and have a drink before I get back to my classes. Though it is the peak time and the cafeteria is always crowded every day at that hour, but I believe that could be avoided by hiring one more chef and a cleaning guy for that part of the day. I hope take this into account. Yours faithfully, Amr Masoud

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to bring your attention This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 problems I faced during the lunchtime at your cafeteria, and to suggest This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 enhancements that would This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorate
improve
 the service.

My name is Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).Amr, and
Amr and
 I am an Engineering student at University of Possible spelling mistake found.Shariah
Sharjah
. Although This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 of my colleagues This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 their drinks from the coffee shops outside the university, I have always been a loyal customer to my college cafeteria due to its This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 quality coffee and fresh meals that served at reasonable prices.

On this occasion, however
, in the past few weeks I noticed a drawback in the level of service, that was obvious in the cleanness of the tables and the time to serve that This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :in some instances
sometimes
 exceeded 45 minutes leaving me This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 15 minutes to eat and have a drink This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 back to my classes.

Though it is the peak time and the cafeteria is always crowded every day at that hour, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 I believe that could be avoided
 by hiring one more chef and a cleaning guy for that part of the day.

I hope take this into account.

Yours faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.AMRAirMrAmArmNMR
Amr
Possible spelling mistake found.MasonMaskedAloudMassedMaudMashed
Masoud

IELTS letter Cafeteria at the lunchtime

Letter

American English

8 paragraphs

188 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 5.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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