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asking me for my opinion about camping

asking me for my opinion about camping gAaba
Dear Nehir, I’m glad to take an e-mail that asking me for my opinion about camping which is my favourite hobby. I’m also excited about your best summer holiday you will probably collect unforgettable memories. In my opinion you would love to have a breakfast and walking around the near side of lake, has unique view, which is famous and knowns as ‘’Van Lake’’. You will be allowed to take photos and videos like mine that you can find them on my Instagram profile. I highly recommend that Do not forget take an extra full battery. Unless you tell your holiday plan to your family, they will wonder about you due to can’t reach you. In order to charge your mobile phone, which help you to stay connected with the world, you have to walk at least two hours. Despite the area full of people, you may scare from the dark. Beside of my experiences that I mentioned above, I would like to join you. Your sincerely, Burhan
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nehir
,

I’m glad to take an e-mail that asking me for my opinion about camping which is my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
hobby. I’m
also
excited about your best summer holiday you will
probably
collect unforgettable memories.

In my opinion you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
When we speak of types of meals, the article is not required: "have breakfast".
have a breakfast
and walking around the near side of lake, has unique view, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowns
as ‘’Van Lake’’. You will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to take photos and videos like mine that you can find them on my Instagram profile. I
highly
recommend that Do not forget take an extra full battery.

Unless you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
your holiday plan to your family, they will wonder about you due to can’t reach you. In order to charge your mobile phone, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to stay connected with the world, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
walk at least two hours. Despite the area full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, you may scare from the dark.

Beside of my experiences that I mentioned above, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
you.

Did you mean "Yours"? (complimentary close)
Your
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Burhan
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IELTS letter asking me for my opinion about camping

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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