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Asking for advice from your friend to choose the best college to do a course there

Asking for advice from your friend to choose the best college to do a course there 9wx73
Dear Mr. Arjun Singhania, I would like to seek your advice about me joining a company in Sec 17 chandigarh I feel this is an excellent opportunity to work for my career growth but still confused as shifting to another location is always risky. I have a settled job and my family here so a bit uncertain with regards to settling down with my family and my kid’s education in the new place. Please advise me if it is the right decision to move with family now or should I move alone. Please help me take this significant decision of my life. You are one person whom I can rely on a perfect choice. I am also attaching a copy of the appointment letter with  Technocodz pvt. Ltd. for you to have a fair judgment of the company. Awaiting your reply. Yours sincerely Mr. N. K. Rawat
Dear Mr. Arjun
Possible spelling mistake found.
Singhania
,

I would like to seek your advice about me joining a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in Sec 17
Possible spelling mistake found.
chandigarh


I feel this is an excellent opportunity to work for my career growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
confused as shifting to another location is always risky. I have a settled job and my family here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a bit uncertain
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
settling down with my family and my kid’s education in the new place.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
advise me if it is the right decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
with family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
or should I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
alone.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me take this significant decision of my life. You are one person whom I can rely on a perfect choice.

I am
also
attaching a copy of the appointment letter with
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Possible spelling mistake found.
Technocodz
pvt. Ltd. for you to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
judgment of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Awaiting your reply.

Yours
sincerely


Mr. N. K.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rawat
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IELTS letter Asking for advice from your friend to choose the best college to do a course there

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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