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asking for a holiday at work

asking for a holiday at work yxnNg
Dear Mr. Adam Jane, I am writing this letter to demand a short break from my teaching courses in your institute. In the last few days, I was not comfortable while I was teaching. I think that I am under pressure since my wedding will be in the next 20 days as I informed you in our last meeting. Therefore, the arrangement should be taken soon such as cards invitations. Moreover, I have been working without any vacation for almost a year which may affect my performance in the class. I would like to ask you for extra 10 days due to my family have booked a covered holiday in Tunisia just the day after my wedding. I would be most grateful if you could make them at the beginning of May. I talked with my colleague Mr. Walid Radj and he said that he would replace me during the Mondays that I teach the CA class. Furthermore, I have prepared for the student all the courses they need in this period. thank you for taking the time to look at my matter. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Sincerely,
Dear Mr. Adam Jane,

I am writing this letter to demand a short break from my teaching courses in your institute.

In the last few days, I was not comfortable while I was teaching. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that I am under pressure since my wedding will be in the
next
20 days as I informed you in our last meeting.
Therefore
, the arrangement should
be taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
such as cards invitations.
Moreover
, I have been working without any vacation for almost a year which may affect my performance in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

I would like to ask you for extra 10 days due to my family have booked a covered holiday in Tunisia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the day after my wedding. I would be most grateful if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them at the beginning of May.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
talked with my colleague Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Walid
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Radj and
he said that he would replace me during the Mondays that I teach the CA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Furthermore
, I have prepared for the student all the courses they need in this period.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thank
you for taking the time to look at my matter. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours
Sincerely
,
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IELTS letter asking for a holiday at work

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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