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Asking advice for studying abroad

Asking advice for studying abroad AB9Bl

Dear Mr JohnsonI would appreciate if you could give me some advice about going and studying English at college overseas. Studying abroad is an excellent opportunity to work for my career improvement nevertheless still confused as moving another country is always risky. I get married so would you mind offering me some advice how to carry on my studying with my family? If we go there can we take an accommodation for nuclear family besides that can I work after classes to earn money? Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this letter. I understand you are workaholic in addition responsible person so that any advice you give would be helpful. I would appreciate it if you could give me your advice as soon as possible. Yours sincerely Adam Smith

Dear Mr Possible spelling mistake found.JohnsonJohnson I
JohnsonI
 would appreciate if you could give me This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinformationwordhelpjudgmentguidanceinstruction
advice
 about going and studying English at college overseas. Studying abroad is an excellent opportunity to work for my career improvement nevertheless
still
 confused as moving another country is always risky. I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 married This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 would you mind offering me This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinformationwordhelpjudgmentguidanceinstruction
advice
 how to carry on my studying with my family? If we go there can we take Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".accommodation
an accommodation
 for nuclear family besides
 that can I work after classes to earn money? Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this letter. I understand you are workaholic in addition
 responsible person This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 that any You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinformationwordhelpjudgmentguidanceinstruction
advice
 you give would be helpful. I would appreciate it if you could give me your You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinformationwordhelpjudgmentguidanceinstruction
advice
 as This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:in the near future
soon
 as possible. Yours sincerely
 Adam Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphSmith.Smith!Smith?Smith:Smith,Smith;
Smith