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ask for permission and support it

Dear Sir, I am writing with regard to my job vacation for the end of this month since I have some crucial issues. At once, you said my diligency, dedication makes you wonder and when you want you are able to ask for some time off work so I would need this permission so much. I was wondering if you accept my desire and let me go for approximately one week. Generally, one week is enough for my problems however they are so significant and confusion problems for my career. So, during my vacation my friend and your employer Steve will come to my place for temporary period. Indeed, I can say that he is so professional and attentive person at his job so it stands to the reason during this one week you don't feel my absence. In conclusion, I hope you will compromise my situation apparently and for these factors you make permission available for me. Thanks for everything. Your sincerely, Qalib Jio
Dear Sir,

I am writing with regard to my job vacation for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this month since I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial issues. At once, you said my
Possible spelling mistake found.
diligency
, dedication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you wonder and when you want you are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time off work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would need this permission
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much. I was wondering if you accept my desire and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me go for approximately one week.
Generally
, one week is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for my problems
however
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
significant and confusion problems for my career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, during my vacation my friend and your employer Steve will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to my place for temporary period.
Indeed
, I can say that he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
professional and attentive person at his job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it stands to the reason during this one week you don't feel my absence.
In conclusion
, I hope you will compromise my situation
apparently
and for these factors you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
permission available for me. Thanks for everything.

Did you mean “Yours”? (complimentary close)
Your
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Qalib
Jio

IELTS letter ask for permission and support it

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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