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ask for permission and support it

Dear Sir, I am writing with regard to my job vacation for the end of this month since I have some crucial issues. At once, you said my diligency, dedication makes you wonder and when you want you are able to ask for some time off work so I would need this permission so much. I was wondering if you accept my desire and let me go for approximately one week. Generally, one week is enough for my problems however they are so significant and confusion problems for my career. So, during my vacation my friend and your employer Steve will come to my place for temporary period. Indeed, I can say that he is so professional and attentive person at his job so it stands to the reason during this one week you don't feel my absence. In conclusion, I hope you will compromise my situation apparently and for these factors you make permission available for me. Thanks for everything. Your sincerely, Qalib Jio
Dear Sir,

I am writing with regard to my job vacation for the
end
of this month since I have
some
crucial issues. At once, you said my
diligency
, dedication
makes
you wonder and when you want you are able to
ask for
some
time off work
so
I would need this permission
so
much. I was wondering if you accept my desire and
let
me go for approximately one week.
Generally
, one week is
enough
for my problems
however
they are
so
significant and confusion problems for my career.
So
, during my vacation my friend and your employer Steve will
come
to my place for temporary period.
Indeed
, I can say that he is
so
professional and attentive person at his job
so
it stands to the reason during this one week you don't feel my absence.
In conclusion
, I hope you will compromise my situation
apparently
and for these factors you
make
permission available for me. Thanks for everything.

Your
sincerely
,

Qalib
Jio
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IELTS letter ask for permission and support it

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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