Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

As part of a student social survey project, you are organizing a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information regarding such things as the contents of the exhibition, and the dates of its opening and closing, and if there are any discounts available.

Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Philip Jones. I am a final year student of the Department of Public Service and Tourism in the Yerevan State University. In the framework of social survey project we are planning to organize a group visit to the historical exhibition of Traditional Armenian clothing in Tigranakert. I would like to find out the dates of the exhibition, the working hours of the museum and the group discounts available. First, please be so kind to inform the opening and closing dates of the exhibition. This point is very important for us as we must have planed and spread the advertisement at least two weeks before the event date. Second, provide more detailed information about the historical period the exhibition covers. We would like to present a detailed historical review in our advertisement. Generally, people visiting exhibitions are interested in concrete elements of this or that era. Thus we find it very useful providing as much information about the age exhibited as possible. Finally, we are interested in the group discounts provided. The group attending the event will consist of two classes of seven-grade school students, fourteen and eleven correspondingly in each, four teachers and three accompanying members of our group. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. We hope that our project will have a great success through our cooperation and you help. Thank you in advance. Yours sincerely, Philip Jones.
Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Philip Jones. I am a final year student of the Department of Public Service and Tourism in the Yerevan State University. In the framework of social survey project we are planning to organize a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
visit to the historical exhibition of Traditional Armenian clothing in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tigranakert
. I would like to find out the dates of the exhibition, the working hours of the museum and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
discounts available.

First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
kind to inform the opening and closing dates of the exhibition. This point is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have planed and spread the advertisement at least two weeks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
date.

Second, provide more detailed information about the historical period the exhibition covers. We would like to present a detailed historical review in our advertisement.
Generally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting exhibitions
are interested
in concrete elements of this or that era.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
we find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful providing as much information about the age exhibited as possible.

Finally
, we
are interested
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
discounts provided. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
attending the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
will consist of two classes of seven-grade school students, fourteen and eleven
correspondingly
in each, four teachers and three accompanying members of our group.

Looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. We hope that our project will have a great success through our
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cooperation and
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Thank you in advance.

Yours
sincerely
,

Philip Jones.

IELTS letter As part of a student social survey project, you are organizing a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information regarding such things as the contents of the exhibition, and the dates of its opening and closing, and if there are any discounts available.

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
237 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • As part of a student social survey project, you are organizing a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information regarding such things as the contents of the exhibition, and the dates of its opening and closing, and if there are any discounts available.