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As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information regarding such things as the contents of the exhibition, and the dates of its opening and closing, and if there are any discounts available. v.3

As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information regarding such things as the contents of the exhibition, and the dates of its opening and closing, and if there are any discounts available. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I am about to organise a small group of students to visit the historical exhibition in your town in an effort to encourage them to participate in different kinds of social survey projects and learn new things. So, I would request some information to finalise the arrangement. Needless to say, this kind of participation would help these young students to understand the types of problems and the prospect of a society in which they live. But, before visiting that historical exhibition, I could surely use some information from your part. For example, information, like what kinds of contents or items would be displayed at the exhibition, and what historical period or era those historical items belong to, would be highly appreciated. Besides, I would also love to get some specific information about the dates of its opening and closing along with its hours of operation. Finally, I could also use some information on whether there is any discount available for a group of 16. So, I would be highly obliged if you could please provide me with these details at your earliest convenience so that I am able to start making the transport and accommodation arrangements in advance. Yours faithfully, James Collin
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am about to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group of students to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
exhibition in your town in an effort to encourage them to participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of social survey projects and learn new things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I would request
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'finalise' is British English.
finalise
the arrangement.

Needless to say, this kind of participation would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these young students to understand the types of problems and the prospect of a society in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
visiting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
exhibition, I could
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from your part.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, like what kinds of contents or items would
be displayed
at the exhibition, and what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
period or era those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
items belong to, would be
highly
appreciated.
Besides
, I would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the dates of its opening and closing along with its hours of operation.
Finally
, I could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on whether there is any discount available for a group of 16.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I would be
highly
obliged if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
provide me with these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
at your earliest convenience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I am able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
making the transport and accommodation arrangements in advance.

Yours
faithfully
,

James Collin
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS letter As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information regarding such things as the contents of the exhibition, and the dates of its opening and closing, and if there are any discounts available. v. 3

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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