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As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information regarding such things as the contents of the exhibition, and the dates of its opening and closing, and if there are any discounts available. v.2

As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information regarding such things as the contents of the exhibition, and the dates of its opening and closing, and if there are any discounts available. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am administering a group of pupils to visit the historical exhibition in Shaftesbury, UK next month. This tour will be a part of our school activities to encourage young students to participate in social surveys and grow interests in history. I would really appreciate if you could forward me some information regarding the exhibition. First of all, when the exhibition will be held and what are the daily opening hours? Secondly, is the exhibition suitable for the fourth and fifth graders? Please notify me about the theme and exhibited objects on display. This would help me better explain to my students about the content during our trip. Finally, what are the other activities being held in connection with the exhibition? I am planning to bring over twenty students to the exhibition. So I would like to inquire whether we are eligible for any discount on entrance tickets. If there is no general discount, could you please arrange one for students? Thank you in advance. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Sarah Johnson
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am administering a group of pupils to visit the historical exhibition in Shaftesbury, UK
next
month. This tour will be a part of our school activities to encourage young students to participate in social surveys and grow interests in history. I would
really
appreciate if you could forward me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information regarding the exhibition.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when the exhibition will
be held
and what are the daily opening hours?
Secondly
, is the exhibition suitable for the fourth and fifth graders?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
notify me about the theme and exhibited objects on display. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to my students about the content during our trip.
Finally
, what are the other activities
being held
in connection with the exhibition?

I am planning to bring over twenty students to the exhibition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I would like to inquire whether we are eligible for any discount on entrance tickets. If there is no general discount, could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
arrange one for students?

Thank you in advance. I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Sarah Johnson
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS letter As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information regarding such things as the contents of the exhibition, and the dates of its opening and closing, and if there are any discounts available. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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