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Application letter about applying for a jop

Application letter about applying for a jop e5k7G
Dear Sir I am very keen on your advertisement in today's edition of local newspaper "Uzbekistan today "and I should like to apply to be member of your school number 13th. All about me and my age thirty-six years old and obtained a degree in Teaching English as a foreign Language at University of World Languages in 2005. I feel I have many of the important qualifications needed for this job As you know me proactive and able to handle multiple tasks simultaneously. I am currently looking for a position that will allow me to develop my skills and experience. In addition to this I participated computer course. I enjoy several outdoor activities planting flowers gardening and indoor activities knitting. I am sociable and get on well with people easily. As you know me can knit, such as skirt, socks, scarves jumper for the people who gets along with me. If you would like me to attend an interview, I would be able to come at any time covenient to you. As I do want to be a member of your company. I look forward to hearing from you. Your faithfully Julie Brown.
Dear Sir

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
keen on your advertisement in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's edition of local newspaper
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Uzbekistan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
and I should like to apply to be member of your school number 13th. All about me and my age thirty-six years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and obtained a degree in Teaching English as a foreign Language at University of World Languages in 2005. I feel I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
qualifications needed for this job As you know me proactive and able to handle multiple tasks
simultaneously
. I am
currently
looking for a position that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to develop my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experience.
In addition
to this I participated computer course. I enjoy several outdoor activities planting flowers gardening and indoor activities knitting. I am sociable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on well with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
easily
. As you know me can
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
knit
, such as skirt, socks, scarves jumper for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "get"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
gets
along with me.

If you
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would like
me to attend an interview, I would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at any time
Possible spelling mistake found.
covenient
to you.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
I do want to be a member of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Your
faithfully
Julie Brown.
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IELTS letter Application letter about applying for a jop

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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