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An email: Going to the park

An email: Going to the park Yyklm
Dear Sammy, How's it going now? I hope you'll do well. Tomorrow, we have a day off, so I wanna go outside with you. Do you think about going to the park? We can go to the Green Park in the centre city. The atmosphere is very clean here and it's suitable to go for a pinic. Firstly, at 7. 30 am, we'll catch a bus to go to the park. I'll buy the ticket. Then we will have a breakfast. Do you like bread or rice for breakfast? At 8. 00 am, we can go for a walk around the lake and talking to each other. Finally, we will have lunch. I'll prepare some food such as rice, orange juice, . . . ​Inbox me as soon as possible, looking forward to your email. ​Lots of love, Alex
Dear Sammy,

How's it going
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
? I hope you'll do well.

Tomorrow, we have a day off,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
The word 'wanna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
wanna
go outside with you. Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about going to the park? We can go to the Green Park in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
city. The atmosphere is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clean here and it's suitable to go for a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pinic
.
Firstly
, at 7. 30 am, we'll catch a bus to go to the park. I'll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the ticket. Then we will
When we speak of types of meals, the article is not required: "have breakfast".
have a breakfast
. Do you like bread or rice for breakfast? At 8. 00 am, we can go for a walk around the lake and talking to each other.
Finally
, we will have lunch. I'll prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food such as rice, orange juice
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


​Inbox me as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible, looking forward to your email.

​Lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
,

Alex
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IELTS letter An email: Going to the park

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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