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an application letter for a summer job

an application letter for a summer job xxn7g
I'd like to work for first time, in this summer holidays. could you help me for find the best job. I need to income. I'm the best soccer player at my school. I can play soccer well. and I can run fast. but I can't go swimming, because when I was child, my aunt fell into the sea and we didn't manage to pull her out. I'm hating of swimming pool and beach. however, I want to be on ground. I'd love to teaching people and spend time outside. you know a good work. Could you tell me
I'd like to work for
first
time, in this summer holidays.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
could
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me for find the best job. I need to income.

I'm the best soccer player at my school.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
can play soccer well.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
I can run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
I can't go swimming,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when I was child, my aunt fell into the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sea and
we didn't manage to pull her out. I'
The verb 'hating' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
m hating
of swimming pool and beach.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, I want to be on ground.

I'd
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and spend time outside.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
know a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work. Could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
me

IELTS letter an application letter for a summer job

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
97 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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