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Writing a paragraphy to talk about volunteer work

Writing a paragraphy to talk about volunteer work b3wYP
Hello teacher! First let me introduce myself. Im Nhi, Im studying in class ten a eleven. My hobby is reading. I like to read a lot of books, like comic books, novels, short stories…. Im fond of reading fantasy novels like Harry Potter which is written by J. K. Rowling. Im very proud to say that I'm a Potterhead! Now I'm going to talk to Topic: Volunteer work. Volunteer is nowadays a kind of community activity that attracts a large number of attendants from different age group on the basis of its huge advantages. Volunteering is a meaningful work helping the people around us who are less fortunate than we are. Almost everyone likes this job, and so do I. The volunteer work that I enjoy the most is probably donating clothes, books, foods and toys. I find volunteering blood donations quite interesting. But, at my age, I wasn't allowed to donate blood, so I used to donate books, toys, and clothes. At first I found this donation quite boring, but after many attempts, I had the opposite thought at first. Why? Because of the donation of items such as toys, old clothes, . . . There are many interesting things that you may not know. It's also very satisfying to know that you are not wasting your time and are helping people who need help. In addition, reducing those items also makes your home or at least your room less cluttered. Most of all, donating helps us feel good when we do something meaningful. When we give to charity we often want to give it to the needy, but for various reasons we often go through intermediaries to do it on our behalf, the intermediaries here are groups, charities. What organizations are worth trusting? Donate clothes to Vietnamese Students’ Association, Ho Chi Minh Communist Youth Union, . . . Any province or locality has this organization, even in some units, companies, schools have communist Vietnamese Students’ Association. Every day in the world in general and in Vietnam in particular, there are many people living in hardship and poverty, there are millions of children facing serious diseases. They have no clothes, no food, . . . However, they always have dreams and ambitions for life. So each of us has small links or join hands to help them so that they have more motivation to move forward in the future. Although our help is small, it has helped the poor somewhat in life. Life is much interesting when you're a volunteer. Those are my thoughts on volunteer work. Thanks for listening! Hello teacher! First let me introduce myself. Im Nhi, Im studying in class ten a eleven. My hobby is reading. I like to read a lot of books, like comic books, novels, short stories…. Im fond of reading fantasy novels like Harry Potter which is written by J. K. Rowling. Im very proud to say that I'm a Potterhead! Now I'm going to talk to Topic: Volunteer work. Volunteer is nowadays a kind of community activity that attracts a large number of attendants from different age group on the basis of its huge advantages. Volunteering is a meaningful work helping the people around us who are less fortunate than we are. Almost everyone likes this job, and so do I. The volunteer work that I enjoy the most is probably donating clothes, books, foods and toys. I find volunteering blood donations quite interesting. But, at my age, I wasn't allowed to donate blood, so I used to donate books, toys, and clothes. At first I found this donation quite boring, but after many attempts, I had the opposite thought at first. Why? Because of the donation of items such as toys, old clothes, . . . There are many interesting things that you may not know. It's also very satisfying to know that you are not wasting your time and are helping people who need help. In addition, reducing those items also makes your home or at least your room less cluttered. Most of all, donating helps us feel good when we do something meaningful. When we give to charity we often want to give it to the needy, but for various reasons we often go through intermediaries to do it on our behalf, the intermediaries here are groups, charities. What organizations are worth trusting? Donate clothes to Vietnamese Students’ Association, Ho Chi Minh Communist Youth Union, . . . Any province or locality has this organization, even in some units, companies, schools have communist Vietnamese Students’ Association. Every day in the world in general and in Vietnam in particular, there are many people living in hardship and poverty, there are millions of children facing serious diseases. They have no clothes, no food, . . . However, they always have dreams and ambitions for life. So each of us has small links or join hands to help them so that they have more motivation to move forward in the future. Although our help is small, it has helped the poor somewhat in life. Life is much interesting when you're a volunteer. Those are my thoughts on volunteer work, thanks for listening
Hello teacher!
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
First
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me introduce myself.
Possible spelling mistake found
Im
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nhi
,
Possible spelling mistake found
Im
studying in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
ten
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
eleven. My hobby is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
to read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
comic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
novels
, short stories….
Possible spelling mistake found
Im
fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
fantasy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
novels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
Harry Potter which
is written
by J. K. Rowling.
Possible spelling mistake found
Im
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud to say that I'm a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Potterhead
!
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I'm going to talk to Topic:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Volunteer
is nowadays a kind of community activity that attracts
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
attendants from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
on the basis of its huge advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Volunteering
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
fortunate than we are. Almost everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likes
this job, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do I. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that I enjoy the most is
probably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
. I find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, I wasn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. At
The comma is probably missing here: "first, I".
first I
found this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
boring,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attempts, I had the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
. Why?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
things that you may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
. It's
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that you are not wasting your time and are helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
In addition
, reducing those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
your home or at least your room
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
cluttered. Most of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
when we do something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaningful
. When we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
it to the needy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for various reasons we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
go through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intermediaries
to do it on our behalf, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intermediaries
here are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
are worth trusting?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
to Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Association
, Ho Chi Minh Communist Youth Union
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Any province or locality has this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
, even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
units,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, schools have communist Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Association
. Every day in the world
in general
and in Vietnam
in particular
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in hardship and poverty, there are millions of children facing serious diseases. They have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
However
, they always have dreams and ambitions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
each of us has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
links or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they have more motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward in the future. Although our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the poor somewhat in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
when you're a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
. Those are my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Thanks for listening! Hello teacher!
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
First
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me introduce myself.
Possible spelling mistake found
Im
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nhi
,
Possible spelling mistake found
Im
studying in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
ten
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
eleven. My hobby is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
to read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
comic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
novels
, short stories….
Possible spelling mistake found
Im
fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
fantasy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
novels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
Harry Potter which
is written
by J. K. Rowling.
Possible spelling mistake found
Im
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud to say that I'm a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Potterhead
!
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I'm going to talk to Topic:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Volunteer
is nowadays a kind of community activity that attracts
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
attendants from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
on the basis of its huge advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Volunteering
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
fortunate than we are. Almost everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likes
this job, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do I. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that I enjoy the most is
probably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
. I find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, I wasn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. At
The comma is probably missing here: "first, I".
first I
found this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
boring,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attempts, I had the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
. Why?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
things that you may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
. It's
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that you are not wasting your time and are helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
In addition
, reducing those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
your home or at least your room
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
cluttered. Most of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
when we do something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaningful
. When we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
it to the needy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for various reasons we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
go through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intermediaries
to do it on our behalf, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intermediaries
here are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
are worth trusting?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
to Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Association
, Ho Chi Minh Communist Youth Union
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Any province or locality has this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
, even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
units,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, schools have communist Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Association
. Every day in the world
in general
and in Vietnam
in particular
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in hardship and poverty, there are millions of children facing serious diseases. They have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
However
, they always have dreams and ambitions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
each of us has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
links or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they have more motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward in the future. Although our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the poor somewhat in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interesting
when you're a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
. Those are my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, thanks for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
listening
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IELTS letter Writing a paragraphy to talk about volunteer work

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
861 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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