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About jobs and law rules

About jobs and law rules yP2wE
Hi To start with i would say it's a good thing to implement this LAW in all the country's it will help the employee and their families. In our country one employee working from 10hrs shift to 12 hrs shift excluding traveling and they have no time to take care of their Family (or) his personal health. An employee works hard for this Family but can't spend time with his family member's which will affect this future generation as we know in the olden day one person works for 8 To 9 Hrs shift and rest he would spend on his Loved once which leads to Long Happy Life span (70-90 Years) But as we can see all over the NEWS Young people losing their life's due to over time work and stress with the Life span of 50 to 60 Years if this continuous the life span will fall gradually as we know the IT industry are providing most of the job's with a Round the clock time schedule were an employee has no other choice but to keep his family behind to work for this needs. if the Government implement a limited working hours for the employees this changes everything An employee could work from 7hrs To 8hrs shift and get back to the family life and nourish his children's which leads to a better generation and as we know better generation leads to better nation and other way of perspective we can say that passing this bill will push the nation to the better world
Hi To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with
Did you mean "I"?
i
would say it's a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing to implement this LAW in all the country's it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the

employee and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. In our country one employee working from 10hrs shift to 12 hrs shift

excluding
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
traveling and
they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
(or) his personal health. An

employee works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can't spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member's which will affect this

future generation as we know in the olden day one person works for 8 To 9 Hrs shift and rest he would

spend on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Loved
once which leads to Long Happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
span (70-90 Years)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all over

the NEWS Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
losing their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
's due to over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
span of 50 to 60

Years if this continuous the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span will fall
gradually
as we know the IT industry are providing most of

the job's with a Round the clock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
schedule were an employee has no other choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
his

family behind to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
Did you mean "these"?
this
needs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
implement a limited working
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "hour"?
hours
for the

employees this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
everything An employee could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from 7hrs To 8hrs shift and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to the

family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and nourish his children's which leads to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
generation and as we know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
generation

leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
nation and other way of perspective we can say that passing this bill will push the nation

to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
world
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IELTS letter About jobs and law rules

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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