Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

a part-time job for teenagers

a part-time job for teenagers j87l8
Dear Sabina, How is it going? I hope you are doing well. I'm so sorry that I couldn't reply to your letter earlier. I was really busy with my studies and work. I know that you've been looking for a part time job to support your studies. And, of course I'd be happy to help. Firstly, I want to say that nowadays in many countries, adolescents are encouraged to do part-time jobs. And in my country more and more teenagers earn their money by doing a part- time job. In my opinion, a part-time job has a lot of advantages. It teaches young people good time management and helps them to become independent and responsible. Furthermore, due to part-time jobs youngsters can learn how to cooperate and get along with people. Finally, what can be better, than realizing that you can buy things for your honestly earned money? On the other hand, part-time jobs are often criticized because they distract students from studying and they do not have enough time to do their homework and start fallinng behind their classmates. Finally, I want to help you with your decision. If I were you, I would make a list of all part-time jobs which may interest you. Here are some of them suitable for teenagers: fast food attendant, car wash attendant, barista, grocery store bagger, camp counselor, yard worker, dog walker, babysitter, tutor. I hope this will be of help. Let me know what you will have decided. Yours, Tori
Dear Sabina,

How is it going? I hope you are doing well. I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sorry that I couldn't reply to your letter earlier.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was
really
busy with my studies and work.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
know that you've been looking for a part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to support your studies. And,
of course
I'd be happy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Firstly
, I want to say that nowadays in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, adolescents
are encouraged
to do part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. And in my country more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
earn their money by doing a part-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job.

In my opinion, a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages. It teaches young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to become independent and responsible.
Furthermore
, due to part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
youngsters can learn how to cooperate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Finally
, what can be better, than realizing that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things for your
honestly
earned money?
On the other hand
, part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
criticized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they distract students from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studying and
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do their homework and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
Possible spelling mistake found.
fallinng
behind their classmates.

Finally
, I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you with your decision. If I were you, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a list of all part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which may interest you. Here are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them suitable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food attendant, car wash attendant, barista, grocery store
Possible spelling mistake found.
bagger
, camp counselor, yard worker, dog walker, babysitter, tutor.

I hope this will be of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me know what you will have decided.

Yours,

Tori
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter a part-time job for teenagers

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
248 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • a part-time job for teenagers