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A local college wants people with a job to come and talk to students about what it is like to work. You would like to come forward and talk to the students about your job. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter, explain what you would like to talk about say why students would be interested in your job suggest a possible date and time for the talk Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

A local college wants people with a job to come and talk to students about what it is like to work. You would like to come forward and talk to the students about your job. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter, explain what you would like to talk about say why students would be interested in your job suggest a possible date and time for the talk You do NOT need to write any addresses. MaN9
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter in response to an advertisement that you recently published on a local newspaper, seeking for job holders to come forward and talk to your students about how it feels to have a job. I think that it is quite an interesting proposition, and I would be more than happy to talk to your students. I would like to talk about the initial challenges that I faced when I started my current job as a physical instructor at a physical training college. After all, the first few weeks at a job can become really overwhelming for anybody. Besides, I would also like to talk about how I learned to keep young and restless people motivated in a tough working environment. I am sure that your students would be interested in my job since it would allow them to remain healthy, both physically and mentally, without even doing anything extra outside of their regular jobs. I am free the entire day next Friday on 27th of September, and I would be excited and happy to stand in front of your students and share my experience with them. Yours faithfully, John Young
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter in response to an advertisement that you recently published on a local newspaper, seeking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
holders to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
to your students about how it feels to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is quite an interesting proposition, and I would be more than happy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
to your students.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about the initial challenges that I faced when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a physical instructor at a physical training college.
After all
, the
first
few weeks at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can become
really
overwhelming for anybody.
Besides
, I would
also
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about how I learned to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
young and restless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
motivated in a tough working environment. I am sure that your students would
be interested
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
since it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to remain healthy, both
physically
and mentally, without even doing anything extra
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their regular jobs.

I am free the entire day
next
Friday on 27th of September, and I would
be excited
and happy to stand in front of your students and share my experience with them.

Yours
faithfully
,

John Young
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IELTS letter A local college wants people with a job to come and talk to students about what it is like to work. You would like to come forward and talk to the students about your job. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter, explain what you would like to talk about say why students would be interested in your job suggest a possible date and time for the talk You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • A local college wants people with a job to come and talk to students about what it is like to work. You would like to come forward and talk to the students about your job. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter, explain what you would like to talk about say why students would be interested in your job suggest a possible date and time for the talk Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.