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A letter to suggest a subject to your cousin

A letter to suggest a subject to your cousin joaoy

Hello Ellen, I hope this letter finds you well. I’m glad to hear from you. Congratulations to your achievement and welcome to the new adventure in university. As a new graduate from university, I hope to share some helpful information with you. On the one hand, many of my fiends tend to study business because they said it’s easy to find a job after graduation. Also, learning business might bring a lot of benefit to your start-up business if you plan to have one. On the other hand, music is a creative subject, which is very challenge for people without basic knowledge. As I known, students who study music in universities are talented and have financial support from their families. However, for me, music is a magic medication for people’s mental. It can help you calm down and train your brain. Overall, I think both of subjects are essential for our society, but you should be clear what your goal is and which career you are gonna pursue in the future. Besides, if you want to study music, you should evaluate your skills and financial status in advance. I hope my suggestions can help you make a decision. I wish you all the best moving forward to next stage. Kind Regards, Tom

Hello Ellen,

I hope this letter finds you well. I’m glad to hear from you. Congratulations to your achievement and welcome to the new adventure in university.

As a new graduate from university, I hope to share This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 helpful information with you. On the one hand, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 of my fiends tend to study business This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 they said it’s easy to find a job after graduation. Also
, learning business might bring This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
 benefit to your This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiate
start
-up business if you plan to have one.

On the other hand
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 is a creative subject, which is This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
 challenge for This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 without basic knowledge. As I Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "knew"?knew
known
, students who study You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 in universities are talented
 and have financial support from their families. However
, for me, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 is a magic medication for This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
’s mental. It can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 you calm down and train your brain.

Overall
, I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 both of subjects are essential for our society, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 you should be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 what your goal is and which career you are The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.going to
gonna
 pursue in the future. Besides
, if you want to study You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
, you should evaluate your This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :proficiencies
skills
 and financial status in advance.

I hope my suggestions can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 you This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 a decision. I wish you all the best moving forward to next
 stage.

Kind Regards,

Tom