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A friend has asked you to babysit on Saturday and wants to know how much you charge per hour for this. Unfortunately, you already have a commitment this weekend and cannot help. However, you are free the following weekend. v.2

A friend has asked you to babysit on Saturday and wants to know how much you charge per hour for this. Unfortunately, you already have a commitment this weekend and cannot help. However, you are free the following weekend. v. 2
Dear Margarita, Thank you for asking me to babysit for you. I must say that I relish looking after Della and would be happy to help you out. She is such a sweet kid. However, this weekend my parents will be with me and I cannot spare time. I am hoping you would understand the situation and allow me to look after Della the next week - if needed. My parents are coming to visit me next Friday and I am going to take them to some interesting places in the town. They scarcely visit me so I would like to spend as much time as possible with them. Also, my father's birthday is on next Monday and I want to celebrate this special occasion with them. I am really sorry that I am not able to help this time, but I am free next weekend and I would be glad to babysit for you then if you should choose to go out for the day. My charge is twenty dollars per hour until midnight and thirty dollars per hour after that. You would need to give me any special instructions you might have and, of course, leave a phone number in case of emergency. Warm regards, Anna Lechner
Dear Margarita,

Thank you for asking me to babysit for you. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that I relish looking after Della and would be happy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you out. She is such a sweet kid.
However
, this weekend my parents will be with me and I cannot spare time. I am hoping you would understand the situation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to look after Della the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
week
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
if needed.

My parents are coming to visit me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Friday and
I am going to take them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interesting places in the town. They
scarcely
visit me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would like to spend as much time as possible with them.
Also
, my father's birthday is on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
Monday and I want to celebrate this special occasion with them. I am
really
sorry that I am not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
this time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
weekend and I would be glad to babysit for you then if you should choose to go out for the day.

My charge is twenty dollars per hour until midnight and thirty dollars per hour after that. You would need to give me any special instructions you might have and,
of course
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a phone number in case of emergency.

Warm regards,

Anna
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lechner
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter A friend has asked you to babysit on Saturday and wants to know how much you charge per hour for this. Unfortunately, you already have a commitment this weekend and cannot help. However, you are free the following weekend. v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
208 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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