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A family has an advertisement in Australian magazine that they require someone for 6 months to look after their 6 year old child.

A family has an advertisement in Australian magazine that they require someone for 6 months to look after their 6 year old child. G90px
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my interest in the advertisement you had published two days back in IIO Australian Magazine. It was regarding a position as an in-house nanny for your six year old kid for a period of six months. I feel I am the right candidate for this vacancy you have posted as I am reliable, patient and adore being around children. I have previous experience with 6 families who have lived in different parts of the country. They would definitely vouch for my skills and character. Furthermore, I have recently completed my graduation in Child care and counseling along with a certificate course on first aid. This opportunity if given opens up doors for me to explore the divers culture and make new friends during my leisure time. Hoping to hear from you soon. I mentioned my telephone number if further information is required. Yours sincerelySwetha Pai
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my interest in the advertisement you had published two days back in
Possible spelling mistake found.
IIO
Australian Magazine. It was regarding a position as an in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
nanny for your six year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
kid for a period of six months.

I feel I am the right candidate for this vacancy you have posted as I am reliable, patient and adore being around children. I have previous experience with 6 families who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the country. They would definitely vouch for my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and character.
Furthermore
, I have recently completed my graduation in Child care and counseling along with a certificate course on
first
aid. This opportunity if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
opens up doors for me to explore the divers culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends during my leisure time. Hoping to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. I mentioned my telephone number if
further
information
is required
. Yours
Possible spelling mistake found.
sincerelySwetha
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Pai
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IELTS letter A family has an advertisement in Australian magazine that they require someone for 6 months to look after their 6 year old child.

Letter
  American English
2 paragraphs
153 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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