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zios are inhumane and should be abolished to what do you agree or disagree?

zios are inhumane and should be abolished to what a815o
Animals are the most required lives on the earth to maintain our nature livable. However, individuals consider that to keep animals in zoos is beneficial. Well I do not agree with the statement. Here, I intend to discuss about it and furnish my views. Firstly, proper nature is needed to survival of human being and as creatures are part of nature they need enough circumstances which is comfortable for them. In this pace, grassroots have become more fascinated to keep animals in zoo in order to gain entertainment and money which results poor health condition of animals, due to lack of nature meal and air. It can be witnessed that wild animals intake only meat which cannot serve enough by zoo maintainers in consequences of that they might be suffer from disease. No doubt by keeping them in zoo is advantageous for community as they earn fiscal from them nevertheless it is extremely harmful for environment as it results poor food chain. On the inverse side, zoos are also proven as good for some endangered species as they are kept in sufficient environment and taken care accurately so that extention of endangered lives can be eliminated. To wrap up, I pen down saying that establishment of zoos should be Stopped for our selfishness and it also should be welcomed for good well of creatures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are the most required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on the earth to maintain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
livable.
However
, individuals consider that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos is beneficial. Well I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement. Here, I intend to
Did you mean simply "discuss it"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about it
and furnish my views.

Firstly
, proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
is needed
to survival of human being and as creatures are part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
circumstances which is comfortable for them. In this pace, grassroots have become more fascinated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoo in order to gain entertainment and money which results poor health condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
meal and air. It can
be witnessed
that wild
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "animals'" or "animal's"?
animals
intake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
meat which cannot serve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
by zoo maintainers in consequences of that they might be
Consider using the past participle "suffered"?
suffer
from disease. No doubt by keeping them in zoo is advantageous for community as they earn fiscal from them
nevertheless
it is
extremely
harmful for environment as it results poor food chain.

On the inverse side, zoos are
also
proven as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
endangered species as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in sufficient environment and taken care
accurately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
extention
of endangered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
can
be eliminated
.

To wrap up, I pen down saying that establishment of zoos should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stopped
for our selfishness and it
also
should
be welcomed
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
well of creatures
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IELTS essay zios are inhumane and should be abolished to what

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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