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the government is responsible for protecting a nation's identity. thus some people believe new buildings should be built in traditional style. to what do you agree or disagree ?

the government is responsible for protecting a nation's identity. thus some people believe new buildings should be built in traditional style. to what pbOGD
Every realms have their own identity which is related to any monument or building. In this epoch, numbers of construction is inclined. However, group of traditional thinker believe that building must be built in culture based design. well, I disagree with the statement. Here I intend to furnish my further views on the topic. Firstly, there are plethora of reasons behind choosing new and developed style of buildings. Overall, it can be witnessed that population of the world is soared up than past in order to this more accommodation are required to live and this need cannot be fulfilled by old styles of construction. Secondly, forests can be saved by manufacturing of skyscrapers buildings in consequences of this deforestation can be eliminated. furthermore, in today's era, it can be seen that new style of building is made with steel and concrete instead of stone and timber so builder can smart work rather than hard work While making of apartment. It is also proven that this kind of houses can cope up with natural calamities like earthquake. In addition, nowadays grassroots and more fascinated towards others facilities apart from only living area like swimming pool, theater, club house and gym and many more which can be obtained by new fashioned accommodation. In addition to the crowd who insist traditions, a city can prevent it's cultural building for identification and tourism. for instance in rajasthan many cities have traditional forts and monuments for identity. To wrap up, I pen down saying that it is necessary to provide house to human being and old fashioned construction cannot fulfill the basic necessities so new development in houses is mandatory.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "realm"?
realms
have
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity which
is related
to any monument or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. In this epoch, numbers of construction
is inclined
.
However
, group of traditional thinker believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be built
in culture based design.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well
, I disagree with the statement. Here I intend to furnish my
further
views on the topic.

Firstly
, there are plethora of reasons behind choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and developed style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Overall
, it can
be witnessed
that population of the world
is soared
Use "upper" to make a comparison with this adjective.
up
than past in order to this more accommodation
are required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and this need cannot
be fulfilled
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
styles of construction.
Secondly
, forests can
be saved
by manufacturing of skyscrapers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in consequences of this deforestation can
be eliminated
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is made
with steel and concrete
instead
of stone and timber
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
builder can smart work
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work While making of apartment. It is
also
proven that this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
can cope up with natural calamities like earthquake.
In addition
, nowadays grassroots and more fascinated towards others facilities apart from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
living area like swimming pool, theater, club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and gym and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more which can
be obtained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
fashioned accommodation.
In addition
to the crowd who insist traditions, a city can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it's cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
for identification and tourism.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance in
Possible spelling mistake found.
rajasthan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities have traditional forts and monuments for identity. To wrap up, I pen down saying that it is necessary to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
to human being and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
construction cannot fulfill the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
is mandatory.
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IELTS essay the government is responsible for protecting a nation's identity. thus some people believe new buildings should be built in traditional style. to what

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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