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University education should be evaliable

University education should be evaliable RWDgG
People learn through their entire lives. They constantly improve their knowledge and develop. I think that a college or university education should be available to all students because every person has the right to choose the way to self-perfection. Bellow I will give some of my reasons to support my position. First of all, every person should have the chance to get a higher degree, gain new knowledge and experience. However, some people believe that higher education should be available only to good students. I think it is silly. It is like to make unavailable traveling for one who does not have IQ high enough. Second of all, some young people do not do well at school but they have great personality and ability to learn. They are self-confident, persistent and patient. With these qualities they can get higher grades then their classmates who are talented but lazy. Imagine for example situation when a teenager gets high grades because his or her parents constantly make him or her study and help to do most of the homework. In this case a child does very well at school but I think a college can show the opposite results. Finally, it is a discrimination against students to make available higher education only for good ones. So, if a student does poor and gets low grades he/she should be sent down. But if a person was never given a chance to try himself/herself at college, what to do in this case? To sum up, I think that all young people should have the chance to get a higher education. To take or not this chance must be up to them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
learn through their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
and


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
develop
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that a college or university education should be available to all
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
students


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
every person has the right to choose the way to self-perfection. Bellow I will
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
give


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
of my reasons to support my position.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, every person should have the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
a higher degree, gain new

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
knowledge
and experience.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that higher education should

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
be
available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
students. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is silly. It is like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
unavailable
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
traveling


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
one who does not have IQ high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

Second of all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not do well at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have great personality

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
ability to learn. They are self-confident, persistent and patient. With these
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
qualities


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
higher grades then their classmates who
are talented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lazy. Imagine
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
for


example situation when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
high grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
parents

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him or her study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to do most of the homework.
In this case
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
a


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
child
does
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
a college can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the opposite results.

Finally
, it is a discrimination against students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
available higher education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
good
ones.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if a student does poor and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
low grades he/she should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
down.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
a


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
person
was never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to try himself/herself at college, what to do
in this case
?

To sum up, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that all young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
a higher

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
education
. To take or not this chance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be up to them.
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IELTS essay University education should be evaliable

Essay
  American English
20 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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