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Youth drug abuse is a serious problem. What are the possible causes of this behaviour? Do you have any suggestion to control that? v.2

Youth drug abuse is a serious problem. What are the possible causes of this behaviour? Do you have any suggestion to control that? v. 2
Drug addiction among young people is currently a serious dilemma in many countries. Everyone is at risk, and the obstacle takes everyone, both rich and poor. The reasons for this behaviour lie in the upbringing and imitation of the actions of adults. Solving the issue requires a clear explanation of all the reasons. The problem of improper education plays an important role. With education, children tend to think less about narcotic things. Low awareness is a characteristic of poor parenting about drugs. However, it should be noted that children repeat the behaviour of their brothers and sisters and resort to their drug use often because of their extensive experience. Studies have shown that pessimistic attitudes and extreme poverty also affect the distribution of drugs among young people. For example, in Fujukkhart, Bangladesh, in a poor country, drug dependence among young people is higher than in economically developed countries. Each trouble is based on the psychological level of each of us. Also with drug addiction, people are exposed to the use of prohibited means due to weak mental defences to negative things. Therefore, those who do not receive proper attention fall into this circle as well as those who are not independent in terms of decisions. A consultation with a psychiatrist or a certified course of treatment will save young people from this complication. But these are the only methods for dealing with the consequences. To prevent such cases, adults need to constantly be in touch with young people and help them in difficult decisions. Adults are needed to help the young. In conclusion, the obstacle of the distribution of narcotic substances among young people should be solved by professionals and with the help of adult care. This is recommended to teach young people to develop their personality and not to build their history in the footsteps of their brothers and sisters. If we play our roles properly, we will have a better society
Drug
addiction among
young
people
is
currently
a serious dilemma in
many
countries. Everyone is at
risk
, and the obstacle takes everyone, both rich and poor. The reasons for this
behaviour
lie in the upbringing and imitation of the actions of
adults
. Solving the issue requires a
clear
explanation of all the reasons.

The problem of improper education plays an
important
role. With education, children tend to
think
less about narcotic things. Low awareness is a characteristic of poor parenting about
drugs
.
However
, it should
be noted
that children repeat the
behaviour
of their brothers and sisters and resort to their
drug
use
often
because
of their extensive experience. Studies have shown that pessimistic attitudes and extreme poverty
also
affect the distribution of
drugs
among
young
people
.
For example
, in
Fujukkhart
, Bangladesh, in a poor country,
drug
dependence among
young
people
is
higher than in
economically
developed countries
.

Each trouble
is based
on the psychological level of each of us.
Also
with
drug
addiction,
people
are exposed
to the
use
of prohibited means due to weak mental
defences
to
negative
things.
Therefore
, those who do not receive proper attention fall into this circle
as well
as those who are not independent in terms of decisions. A consultation with a psychiatrist or a certified course of treatment will save
young
people
from this complication.
But
these are the
only
methods for dealing with the consequences. To
prevent
such cases,
adults
need to
constantly
be in touch with
young
people
and
help
them in difficult decisions.
Adults
are needed
to
help
the young.

In conclusion
, the obstacle of the distribution of narcotic substances among
young
people
should
be solved
by professionals and with the
help
of adult care. This
is recommended
to teach
young
people
to develop their personality and not to build their history in the footsteps of their brothers and sisters. If we play our roles
properly
, we will have a better
society
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Youth drug abuse is a serious problem. What are the possible causes of this behaviour? Do you have any suggestion to control that? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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