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Your children’s school provides free school lunches. Usually the lunch is a hamburger, hotdog, or pizza. The children really enjoy the lunches. Some parents want to change the lunches so that the children eat salad or vegetables every day. The school asked you to respond to an opinion survey.

Your children’s school provides free school lunches. Usually the lunch is a hamburger, hotdog, or pizza. The children really enjoy the lunches. Some parents want to change the lunches so that the children eat salad or vegetables every day. The school asked you to respond to an opinion survey. yXoBl
I would like to opine in favour of Option B as this seems to be a far better and convincing choice to me than the other one. I would present a couple of reasons to substantiate my argument. To begin with, children should must be provided nutritious and healthy food. Since, school is serving them fast food daily in lunch, causing many health complications to the kids. Although, children always prefer to eat the fast food as it is too tempting, hard to resist and mouth-watering but, plethora of research studies suggest that regular consumption of such food cause extremely adverse effect on child's physical and mental health. Secondly, it is too difficult for the school authorities to monitor, control and ensure quality for catered fast food from vendor due to various constraints and limitations. On the contrary, they can control and inspect the freshness, quality and nutritional value for salad or vegetables. As a result, they can ensure that kids are provided the best meal. Having discussed all the arguments, I believe that serving salad or vegetables will be a better choice than pizza/burger/hotdog However, my son will not forgive me for depriving him from his favourite lunch: )
I would like to opine in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of Option B as this seems to be a far better and convincing choice to me than the other one. I would present a couple of reasons to substantiate my argument.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, children should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
nutritious and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Since, school is serving them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
daily in lunch, causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health complications to the kids. Although, children always prefer to eat the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as it is too tempting,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to resist and mouth-watering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, plethora of research studies suggest that regular consumption of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
cause
extremely
adverse effect on child's physical and mental health.

Secondly
, it is too difficult for the school authorities to monitor, control and ensure quality for catered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from vendor due to various constraints and limitations.
On the contrary
, they can control and inspect the freshness, quality and nutritional value for salad or vegetables.
As a result
, they can ensure that kids
are provided
the best meal.

Having discussed all the arguments, I believe that serving salad or vegetables will be a better choice than pizza/burger/
Possible spelling mistake found.
hotdog
However
, my son will not forgive me for
The usual collocation for "depriving" is "of" not "him". Did you mean "depriving him of"?
depriving him from
his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
lunch:
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
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IELTS essay Your children’s school provides free school lunches. Usually the lunch is a hamburger, hotdog, or pizza. The children really enjoy the lunches. Some parents want to change the lunches so that the children eat salad or vegetables every day. The school asked you to respond to an opinion survey.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Your children’s school provides free school lunches. Usually the lunch is a hamburger, hotdog, or pizza. The children really enjoy the lunches. Some parents want to change the lunches so that the children eat salad or vegetables every day. The school asked you to respond to an opinion survey.