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young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults,Do you agree or disagree

young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults, NqWm
nowadays, crime is rapidly increasing and rising crime among youth led to the debate whether they should be tried in court as adults or differently treat because of their age. I am disagree with this given notion and shall put my view in my upcoming paragraph. To begin with, there are myriad reason why adolesents should not punished same way as adults. Firstly, adolesents are enough to understand between wrong and right. There are too young to make their decision. nowadays the teenager brains can be likened to a car with acceleator but weak brake. even studies have shown that adolences as act like a impulse and engage in sutition. secondly they are less likely to think before, sometimes even they dont have idea which thing is good for them. hence it just mean they should sent to juveline court or reformatory school, so that they can learn their mistake and become great citizen. Futhermore, if tried in adult court, they may be sent in prison. Undoubtedly, adult prison could be harsh, so it would be affect to younger. even sometimes adult prison can harsh affect to their life so it could be bad result for them. Young people who does a crime, they should be sent to juveline and it should be teach them their mistake and more aware about rules so that they would not step this crimes again. To sum up, children can commit terrible crimes and it is true that reform and rehabilitation of child offerders under the juvenile justice system is not best interest in children, but best for society
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowadays
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
rapidly
increasing and rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
among youth led to the debate whether they should
be tried
in court as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
or
differently
treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their age. I am disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion and shall put my view in my upcoming paragraph. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are myriad reason why
Possible spelling mistake found.
adolesents
should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "punish"
punished
same way as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
adolesents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to understand between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and right. There are too young to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their decision.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowadays
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
brains can
be likened
to a car with
Possible spelling mistake found.
acceleator
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
weak brake.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
studies have shown that
Possible spelling mistake found.
adolences
as act like
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
impulse and engage in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sutition
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
they are less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even they
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which thing is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
hence
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Did you mean "means"?
mean
they should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "send"
sent
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
juveline
court or reformatory school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can learn their mistake and become great citizen.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, if tried in adult court, they may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
in prison.
Undoubtedly
, adult prison could be harsh,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be affect to younger.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
adult prison can harsh affect to their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
result for them. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "do"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
does
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
juveline
and it should be
Consider using the past participle "taught"?
teach
them their mistake and more aware about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they would not step
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again. To sum up, children can commit terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and it is true that reform and rehabilitation of child
Possible spelling mistake found.
offerders
under the juvenile justice system is
A determiner is probably missing here: "not the best".
not best
interest in children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
best for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society
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IELTS essay young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults,

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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