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Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. v. 3
Increasing offences by juvenile delinquents have contributed to an unsafe environment for society. Nowadays, it has led to a debate whether minority lawbreakers should be tried in court as adults or treated differently because of their age. I strongly dispute to this idea since these young offenders can be still given the opportunity to reform themselves. This essay will delve into these viewpoints with relevant examples in support of my opinion. Firstly, adolescent doing violation due to the peer pressures and gangs. Besides, the violence in the media can attract their attitudes and behaviours. Our young are like a car with a great accelerator, but a weak brake. They do not think before they act. Sometimes, they do not understand what the right is and what the wrong is because of their innocently, as a consequence, they do the same wrong works again. However, their evils should not be forgotten. So, in this situation, if we sent them to the teen rehabilitation Centre to learn and teach the social value and anti-corruption lessons instead of jail, then they may be understood their fault and felt sorry for their misdeeds. For instance, a child transgression magazine showed their report that about 75 percent teenager offenders came back, their normal life after their recovery sessions. It is said that bad behaviours are easier to change when a person is fledgling. Secondly, our youth law does not allow putting the pubescent behind the jail, and I believe that trying teen in court may actually outcome in bigger problems. In a cell, there are lots of gangster inside there. If we give our youngest, a harsher penalty and put them in these lock-up, then this prison may expose these kids to a hardened culprit who may act as a professional malefactor. For example, a survey of ICT code department shows that, minority wrongdoer who releases the jail makes a lot of threatening works than those who came to the junior recovery Centre. As a conclusion, we do not get them back in their normal life. On the other hand, those people say that the teen offender must be punished like a man; they believe this because many countries pay no full attention to young crimes, for this, they become more dangerous than any other felons do. For instance, research of the Information Computer Technology crime department indicated that now a day, many teenagers involved in cybercrime, child abuse, women misdeeds and many others anti-social activities than the last few years. Nevertheless, the junior lawbreakers feel guilty for their misdeeds. For this, if they get harsher penalties like older, then they realized their faults and afraid to break the laws. Besides, these treatments will make our civil life safe and peaceful. Much research said that the modified law would change the situation and decreased the re-offence cases. To sum up, we should hate transgression, not criminals. Time and adult persons negatively influence young generation. So that they need proper attention to give up their misdemeanours, not to harsher trial. This will curb our crimes.
Increasing
offences
by juvenile delinquents have contributed to an unsafe environment for society. Nowadays, it has led to a debate whether minority lawbreakers should
be tried
in court as adults or treated
differently
because
of their age. I
strongly
dispute to this
idea
since these
young
offenders can be
still
given
the opportunity to reform themselves. This essay will delve into these viewpoints with relevant examples in support of my opinion.

Firstly
, adolescent doing violation due to the peer pressures and gangs.
Besides
, the violence in the media can attract their attitudes and
behaviours
. Our
young
are like a car with a great accelerator,
but
a weak brake. They do not
think
before
they act.
Sometimes
, they do not understand what the right is and what the
wrong
is
because
of their
innocently
, as a consequence, they do the same
wrong
works again.
However
, their evils should not
be forgotten
.
So
, in this situation, if we
sent
them to the teen rehabilitation
Centre
to learn and teach the social value and anti-corruption lessons
instead
of jail, then they may
be understood
their fault and felt sorry for their misdeeds.
For instance
, a child transgression magazine
showed
their report that about 75 percent
teenager
offenders came back, their normal life after their recovery sessions. It
is said
that
bad
behaviours
are easier to
change
when a person is fledgling.

Secondly
, our youth law does not
allow
putting the pubescent behind the jail, and I believe that trying teen in court may actually outcome in bigger problems. In a cell, there are
lots of gangster
inside there. If we give our youngest, a harsher penalty and put them in
these lock-up
, then this prison may expose these kids to a hardened culprit who may act as a professional malefactor.
For example
, a survey of ICT code department
shows
that, minority wrongdoer who releases the jail
makes
a lot of
threatening works than those who came to the junior recovery
Centre
. As a conclusion, we do not
get
them back in their normal life.

On the other hand
, those
people
say that the teen offender
must
be punished
like a
man
; they believe this
because
many
countries pay no full attention to
young
crimes, for this, they become more
dangerous
than any other felons do.
For instance
, research of the Information Computer Technology crime department indicated that
now
a day,
many
teenagers
involved in cybercrime, child abuse, women misdeeds and
many
others anti-social activities than the last few years.
Nevertheless
, the junior lawbreakers feel
guilty for
their misdeeds. For this, if they
get
harsher penalties like older, then they realized their faults and afraid to break the laws.
Besides
, these treatments will
make
our civil life safe and peaceful. Much research said that the modified law would
change
the situation and decreased the
re-offence
cases.

To sum up, we should hate transgression, not criminals. Time and adult persons
negatively
influence
young
generation.
So
that they need proper attention to give up their
misdemeanours
, not to harsher trial. This will curb our crimes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
509 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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