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Young people who commit crime should be punishment in the same way as adults.

Young people who commit crime should be punishment in the same way as adults. 8G18r
It is true that the crime is increased in youngster generation. In order to reduce the violation in the country or world, the government should be taken strict action against it, but I totally disagree with to give equal punishment for every age group people. In following paragraph, I shall discuss the reasons, why the criteria of punishments are not equal to adult and younger. To begin with, there are numerous reasons why young people are committing why younger people are committing the crime. Firstly, the youngsters are not matured to understand what is beneficial or adverse for them. For example, recently in the two years mass of children who are studied on smart phone due to corona pandemic which is major risen the crime because of children choose the crime related shows or movies for their entertainment, and they are adapted wrong idea from that. In adiition, in younger age people are followed elder and want to live as like them. For this they are easily influenced by other, which are encouraged the child to do crime for them. As an example, in big cities the crime like drug and weapon smug ling, in which criminals used younger people. Recently, in one city they are used a minor aged student for delivered the drug. In consequently, the child is easily influenced by some shows and human and commits the crime. However, there are number of reasons where younger commit crime for their bread and butter. For instance, many child come from poverty, which is the biggest cause for crime in young age. This type of child do the crime such as stealing money or food from other places. Whereas, that children who are belonged to stable family finance, who are doing the crime for their higher necessity of money. In conclusion, although the punishments are the best solution, yet to consider the situation and circumstance of young people for decided their punishment. In order to reduce the crime by giving basic training and explanation.
It is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is increased
in youngster generation. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the violation in the country or world, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
be taken
strict action against it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
totally
disagree with to give equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for every age group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In following paragraph, I shall discuss the reasons, why the criteria of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are not equal to adult and younger.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous reasons why young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are committing why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are committing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Firstly
, the youngsters are not matured to understand what is beneficial or adverse for them.
For example
, recently in the two years mass of children who
are studied
on smart phone due to corona pandemic which is major risen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of children choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or movies for their entertainment, and they
are adapted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
from that.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
adiition
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are followed
elder and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as like them. For this they are
easily
influenced by other, which
are encouraged
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for them. As an example, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
like drug and weapon smug
Did you mean "long"?
ling
, in which criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Recently, in one city they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a minor aged student for delivered the drug. In
consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
easily
influenced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and human and commits the crime.

However
, there are number of reasons where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for their bread and butter.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from poverty, which is the biggest cause for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in young age. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as stealing money or food from other places. Whereas, that children who
are belonged
to stable family finance, who are doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for their higher necessity of money.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are the best solution,
yet
to consider the situation and circumstance of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for decided their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by giving basic training and explanation.
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IELTS essay Young people who commit crime should be punishment in the same way as adults.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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