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Young people this date and to be a less polite and respectful than to past . what are the causes and solution for it

Young people this date and to be a less polite and respectful than to past. what are the causes and solution for it N3y3j
Being a polite person is very important because if we want that other people behave well with us than we have to be polite with them. In these days youngster are rude and disrespectful to toward other as compared to young people in past. I will discuss the reason behind this problem and appropriate solution to mitigate this problems. There are reasons behind these problems firstly, change in social and domestic environment. Nowadays more and more people are working parents so they do not get enough time to spend with their children due to their busy schedules and most people live in nuclear families and as a result of these children do not get chance to learn moral values from their elders. consequently they are influenced by bad company of friends and others. For instance when parents and their children to boarding school, they become rude and disrespectful towards them and other people. Secondly moderization. To elaborate, youngster people prefer to spend their most time on mobile phones and video games. They like to talk to people on social media rather than to their relatives and parents as a result they become less social and introverted. There are many ways to solve this problem. First and foremost is, children learn many things from their parents so it is responsibility of parents that they behave well with others and children will learn moral values and they become respectful towards others while seeing their parents behaviour. Apart from this, parents should spend more time with their children and should take them to meet their grandparents and other relatives so they can become more social person and get opportunity to learn moral values from their elders. To conclude, it is very crucial for children to be respectful and polite toward others. And parents play important role in it.
Being a polite person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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important
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because
if we want that
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other
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people
behave well with us than we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be polite with them. In these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
youngster are rude and disrespectful to toward
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other
as compared to young
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people
Did you mean: "in the past"?
in past
. I will discuss the reason behind this
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problem
and appropriate solution to mitigate
Did you mean "these"?
this
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problems
. There are reasons behind these
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problems
firstly
,
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change
in
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social
and domestic environment. Nowadays more and more
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people
are working
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parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
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get
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enough
time to spend with their
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children
due to their busy schedules and most
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nuclear families and
as a result
of these
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children
do not
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get
chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
moral values from their elders.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
consequently
they
are influenced
by
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bad
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company
of friends
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and others
.
For instance
when
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parents
and their
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children
to boarding school, they
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become
rude and disrespectful towards them and
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other
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people
.
Secondly
Possible spelling mistake found.
moderization
. To elaborate, youngster
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people
prefer to spend their most time on mobile phones and video games. They like to talk to
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people
on
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social
media
rather
than to their relatives and
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parents
as a result
they
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become
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and introverted. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to solve this
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problem
.
First
and foremost is,
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children
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learn
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many
things from their
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parents
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so
it is responsibility of
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parents
that they behave well with others and
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children
will
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learn
moral
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
values and
they
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become
respectful towards others while seeing their
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parents
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Apart from this,
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parents
should spend more time with their
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children
and should take them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their grandparents and
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other
relatives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
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become
more
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social
person and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
moral values from their elders.
To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be respectful and polite toward others. And
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parents
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in it.
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IELTS essay Young people this date and to be a less polite and respectful than to past. what are the causes and solution for it

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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