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Young people should do startup

Young people should do startup pLWx9
In my opinion, young people should be motivated to do startups because of two following reasons. Firstly, when you are young, it is a great time to fail. Because most young people don't have a whole house full of furniture and belongings, it means that the risk of failure is substantially less than for older folks. For example, a young person can spend all of their days, brainpower, and money on a startup, which the other ages cannot do and what a startup demands. Therefore, young people should start a startup when they are at a perfect time to fail and start again. Another noticeable reason is most young people have energy and optimism. Because energy and optimism are exactly what you need to start a company, that is why the young should use them when they are at their natural peak. When you are young, you will have a lot of positive energy that you will never have when getting older. For instance, a young person starting a company should require a lot of energy and days to make the most of one of your key advantages, and creativity and intelligence make them more likely to deal with difficulties. In conclusion, starting a business can bring a variety of benefits to humans at a younger age such as positive energy and great timing. Therefore, any youngster who comes up with an idea of starting up should initiate at once to give it a go.
In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be motivated
to do startups
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two following reasons.
Firstly
, when you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, it is a great time to fail.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't have a whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
full of furniture and belongings, it means that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of failure is
substantially
less than for older folks.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person can spend all of their days, brainpower, and money on a startup, which the other ages cannot do and what a startup demands.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a startup when they are at a perfect time to fail and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
again. Another noticeable reason is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and optimism.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and optimism are exactly what you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
that is
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them when they are at their natural peak. When you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, you will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
that you will never have when getting older.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person starting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the most of one of your key advantages, and creativity and intelligence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more likely to deal with difficulties.
In conclusion
, starting a business can bring a variety of benefits to humans at a younger age such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and great timing.
Therefore
, any youngster who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up with an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of starting up should initiate at once to give it a go.
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IELTS essay Young people should do startup

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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