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Young people learn more experience from films or books than life. Do you agree or disagree?

Young people learn more experience from films or books than life. 85NOk
Today people believe that life experience can be obtained by watching movies or reading books. I partially disagree with the indicated statement. The reason is that human behaviour is mainly impacted by family and society. Although there are tons of advantageous and well-mannered films and books human being is not changing completely. If they influenced positively to a person, the world population should be living without any issues with the help of constant movies and volumes of books. On the contrary, there can be observed negative scenes that may be acquired effortlessly by the youth. According to the recent surveys, it has been detected that most serious decisions such as suicidal or divorcing ideations are made by imitating movie heroes. On the other hand, life lessons are taught by parents in the family. As this upbringing stage is fundamental to the rest of the characteristics. In the next stages, community has a significant impact on the behaviour of a person. To make it clear, teachers or friends who may be motivation or lesson throughout the life can be mentioned. In spite of making up only 1% of the world population, Jewish people are eminent to raise their children as successful generation more effectively than the stated tools. To a point, cinema and books can be useful to create characters. However, on a final note, above mentioned reasons would be cause for me to refute with the statement that there are more dominant factors for this phenomenon.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that life experience can
be obtained
by watching movies or reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. I
partially
disagree with the indicated statement. The reason is that human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is
mainly
impacted by family and society.

Although there are tons of advantageous and well-mannered films and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
human being is not changing completely. If they influenced
positively
to a person, the world population should be living without any issues with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of constant movies and volumes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
On the contrary
, there can
be observed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
scenes that may
be acquired
effortlessly
by the youth. According to the recent surveys, it has
been detected
that most serious decisions such as suicidal or divorcing
Possible spelling mistake found.
ideations
are made
by imitating movie heroes.

On the other hand
, life lessons
are taught
by parents in the family.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
this upbringing stage is fundamental to the rest of the characteristics. In the
next
stages, community has a significant impact on the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of a person. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, teachers or friends who may be motivation or lesson throughout the life can
be mentioned
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
making up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% of the world population, Jewish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are eminent to raise their children as successful generation more
effectively
than the stated tools.

To a point, cinema and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can be useful to create characters.
However
, on a final note, above mentioned reasons would
Did you mean "because"?
be cause
for me to refute with the statement that there are more dominant factors for this phenomenon.
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IELTS essay Young people learn more experience from films or books than life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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