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“How I work on my professional development as a teacher of English and as a user of the English language”

“How I work on my professional development as a teacher of English and as a user of the English language” xmjM1
Working as a teacher of English language, are requires a lot of capabilities, duties and responsibilities. Because of great attention of our president to English language, was an impact to teachers and young learners to work on themselves continually. According these I made myself some intentions in order to succeed on my professional development. To my way of thinking, education and educating are important in everyone’s life, obviously, at this time teacher plays main role. One`s should be knowledgeable, clever and amicable to learners. In other words, teacher is a person who direct learners how to learn, to obtain good education and helps them to choose their future profession. Furthermore in our country our head made a lot of facilities to youths to master the language and to be competent. It is true that, every teacher has different style, method of teaching. Teacher should be creative, hardworking, smart, enable to motivate and be flexible despite of some difficulties which teacher faces in period of working with youths so, I have my own experience, aims and tone of teaching language. I always try to prepare for my lessons beforehand in order to make my lesson interesting, motivational, colorful and especially helpful for our youths. Today, our youth becoming knowledgeable and clever day by day that’s why, we should try to give all our knowledge, advices and aid so as to make their future bright as well as welfare. To sum up, youths are our and our State`s future so as to, make our next generation knowledgeable, happy and prosperous we shouldn`t stop to work and enhance our proficiency.
Working as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
of English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, are requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
capabilities, duties and responsibilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of great attention of our president to English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, was an impact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and young learners to work on themselves
continually
.
It appears that a preposition is missing after 'According'.
According these
I made myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intentions in order to succeed on my professional development.

To my way of thinking, education and educating are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in everyone’s life,
obviously
, at this time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
plays main role.
The character between 'One' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "One’s" (curly apostrophe) or "One's" (straight apostrophe).
One`s
should be knowledgeable, clever and amicable to learners.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is a person who direct learners how to learn, to obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to choose their future profession.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
in our country our head made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
facilities to youths to master the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and to be competent.

It is true that, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
style, method of teaching.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teacher
should be creative, hardworking, smart, enable to motivate and be flexible
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
faces in period of working with youths
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I have my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, aims and tone of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. I always try to prepare for my lessons beforehand in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my lesson interesting, motivational, colorful and
especially
helpful for our youths.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
becoming knowledgeable and clever day by day that’s why, we should try to give all our knowledge, advices and aid
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future bright
as well
as welfare.

To sum up, youths are our and our
The character between 'State' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "State’s" (curly apostrophe) or "State's" (straight apostrophe).
State`s
future
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
next
generation knowledgeable, happy and prosperous we
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "shouldn't" or "shouldn’t".
shouldn`t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to work and enhance our proficiency.
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IELTS essay “How I work on my professional development as a teacher of English and as a user of the English language”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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