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Young people know about international pop and movie stars but know less about famous historical people. Reasons and solutions.

Young people know about international pop and movie stars but know less about famous historical people. Reasons and solutions. yRRMD
In this modernized world, youth are fascinate about singers and actors However, they have no knowledge about freedom fighters. In this essay we will discuss two main reasons for this topic: parents and internet. In this we will suggest good solutions: To include their stories in academics in addition to parents should explain their importance to their kids. In this fast faced society, children are follow their favorite actors. But not freedom fighters. They have some reasons. Firstly, parents doesn't explain importance of nation and social service people. Due to, parents are busy with their professional works. They have no enough time to spend their kids. For example, Nowadays every home they are discussing movies or serials. Secondly, Internet plays a major role. Majority of the time spend with this social networking sites to follow their loved ones. Because, in this Facebook we must know our actors life style. For instance, young people celebrated their favorite actor birthday with enormous flex. These are main reasons. On the other hand, Ministry of education should include freedom fighters life story in acdemics. So, each and every kid will read this stories. For example, In my childhood I learned Mahatma Gandh's story. Hence I know very well. Moreover, In home parents or grand parents should explain our culture, lifestyle and social activist people. Owing to plenty of time students spend with their family only. For instance, In ancient days grand parents are used to tell our past life stories to their grand children. These solutions are so simple if followed. In summary, it is vivid that in this technology base life students can easily identied popular actors and singers while they can know less about historical people. In this essay we discussed main reasons: parents and internet. Furthermore, we suggested slotions for this topic: government should include this person's importance in acdemics and influence of parents or grand parents.
In this modernized world, youth are
Consider using a past participle here: "fascinated".
fascinate
about singers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
However
, they have no knowledge about freedom fighters. In this essay we will discuss two main reasons for this topic:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and internet.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this we will suggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solutions: To include their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
in academics
in addition
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
their importance to their kids.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
faced society, children are follow their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not freedom fighters. They have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
importance of nation and social service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Due to,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy with their professional works. They have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to spend their kids.
For example
, Nowadays every home they are discussing movies or serials.
Secondly
, Internet plays a major role. Majority of the time spend with this social networking sites to follow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, in this Facebook we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style.
For instance
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
celebrated their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actor
birthday with enormous flex. These are main reasons.

On the other hand
, Ministry of education should include freedom fighters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
acdemics
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, each and every kid will read
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
.
For example
, In my childhood I learned Mahatma
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gandh
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
Moreover
, In home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
our culture, lifestyle and social activist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Owing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time students spend with their family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
For instance
, In ancient days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
our past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grand
children. These solutions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
simple if followed.

In summary, it is vivid that in this technology base
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
students can
easily
Possible spelling mistake found.
identied
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
and singers while they can know less about historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this essay we discussed main reasons:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and internet.
Furthermore
, we suggested
Possible spelling mistake found.
slotions
for this topic:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should include this person's importance in
Possible spelling mistake found.
acdemics
and influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
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IELTS essay Young people know about international pop and movie stars but know less about famous historical people. Reasons and solutions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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