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Young people have a strong desire to live in a big metropolis.

Young people have a strong desire to live in a big metropolis. 1b7NW
Young people have a strong desire to live in a big metropolis. Life is always full of fun and excitement here, with a variety of recreational activities such as cinemas, restaurants, plenty of eating and drinking oppotunities on walking streets, and so on, and big cities are frequently referred to as “sleepless” metropolis. The good, however, is accompanied with the negative. Life in a big city is so complicated. In a large city, life is constantly congested and hectic. People work hard just to have a small position in a crowded city. There are hundreds, if not thousands of jobs become available each week but you must be a person who head and shoulders above other job seekers in order to connect with a decent position. On top of that, the cost of living in big cities is typically higher. You may pay through the nose for traveling and accommodation expenses so we aren’t allowed to throw money around. Nowadays, traffic congestion is a serious problem for big cities. We may spend hours traveling down a street in rush hour. In the same vein, pollution levels in big cities are always higher than in other locations. Due to the enormous number of people, transportation, and industrial locations, this problem is extremely difficult to solve. On the other hand, big cities have immense potential for the country’s social-economic development. So that we can work together to improve the image of the cities more and more beautiful to contribute to the growth of the country.
Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a strong desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
metropolis. Life is always full of fun and excitement here, with a variety of recreational activities such as cinemas, restaurants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of eating and drinking
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppotunities
on walking streets, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
frequently
referred to as “sleepless” metropolis. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
however
, is
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanied by".
accompanied with
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. Life in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
complicated. In a large city, life is
constantly
congested and hectic.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
position in a crowded city. There are hundreds, if not thousands of jobs become available each week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a person who head and shoulders above other job seekers in order to connect with a decent position.
On top of that
, the cost of living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
typically
higher. You may pay through the nose for traveling and accommodation expenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we aren’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to throw money around. Nowadays, traffic congestion is a serious problem for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. We may spend hours traveling down a street in rush hour. In the same vein, pollution levels in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are always higher than in other locations. Due to the enormous number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, transportation, and industrial locations, this problem is
extremely
difficult to solve.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have immense potential for the country’s social-economic development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that we can work together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the image of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
to contribute to the growth of the country.
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IELTS essay Young people have a strong desire to live in a big metropolis.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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